Under the Ocean

To my Mother, With Love...

2011-11-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

A tiny head clasped at birth..
Those little tendrils cover her face..
Now all grown up, is the little girl..
With mesmerizing beauty and grace...

The hot oil on hair regime stayed on, even as..
Shampoo replaced soap through the years..
Kneading and soothing the scalp..
Palms running down the layers...

At the altar to say I do..
A tiara gently rests on her hair..
Veil flowing over curly tresses..
That shines with years of care..

Hair like a cloud on a pillow of dreams..
Sleeping soundly through the night..
Many years have passed and yet still remains..
A beautiful black mane in sight..

Oily palms now run over my hair..
Even as I see flecks of gray in hers..
Generations passing on beauty secrets..
To a daughter from her Mother dear..

This is dedicated to my mom, who even at this age, hasn't had to dye her hair EVER and it still remains for the most part black and is beautiful as ever as in this snap. Her secret: Oil. Every weekend, every single year. And of course healthy food and keeping your hair clean. I'm lucky and blessed to have this passed on to me. Thanks Mom. You are the best :)

My MANE Obsession ;)

2011-10-28T05:30:00.000-07:00

Just for the record in the last 3 years; I've changed my hairstyle 12 times... Well some girls buy shoes or clothes or shop. I just get a new hairstyle :)

A few years ago I had permanently straightened my hair. While I loved the results, I noticed I lost a lot of hair over time. Many folks say this is expected, so if you're going through the same; don't lose heart. Get those trims to lose the splits instead, make sure you use the right shampoo and conditioner about once or twice a week, or the amount that suits your hair. Remember that hair keeps growing! Use your own brush and keep it clean. I find using oil mixed with yolk every few days really makes a difference. Leave it on for about half hour and then shampoo as usual. Alternately, mayonnaise or curd leaves it soft too. And do not, DO NOT comb your hair while it is still wet! If you have naturally wavy or curly hair like I do and like to blow dry or iron it out from time to time, instead of using a serum or mousse at the end to keep it in place, just rub a tiny bit of oil on your palms and lightly dab it over your hair for a shiny, frizz free finish.

Well, these are the latest hairstyles I've had. Yup, I'm growing my hair long this time around :)

I realized eating healthy makes a huge difference as it protects your hair from the inside. No matter what you do on the outside, if you are missing vital minerals or vitamins, your hair will just not look healthy. Get all your B vitamins, zinc, minerals; just make sure you eat complete meals. That would be getting the right amount of carbohydrates, fats and protein. And oh yeah, exercising helps a ton!

People say that you have to be born with great hair. They take so much trouble, yet nothing works, I have to disagree. When you love something as much as I do, you take care of it. Inside and out and the results show. Trust me and try it. It works 'everytime! :)

** And on that note, I'd love to hear about YOUR crowning glory & I wish us all GREAT hair days all year round :)

Hurt by criticism? Here's what you do...

2011-02-01T02:41:00.000-08:00

Voice how you feel:
The key being saying 'I am hurt coz of...' calmly and not accusingly.

Pause and think:
Is the current situation really bothering you or something similar said to you in the past that you haven't come to terms with?

It's just one person's opinion:
You don't have to base your self image on what one person tells you. I'm not talking about you being a monster and having someone point that out and being happy about it - this is about being different not wrong. Value and love yourself as you are. Then nothing anyone says will affect you. It's ok to not be perfect. You are YOU. And that's all that matters to those who truly love you finally.

A year gone by....

2010-12-15T00:13:00.001-08:00

Can't believe I haven't written in here for over a year now.. got a couple of movie reviews that I'd like to post - for now though just a big Hi to all my blog pals out there - and loads of love coming in this Christmas season.

Later,xoxo
Cis

Those lil people....

2009-11-18T07:24:00.000-08:00

Well the title might be slightly misleading - those little people are below 4ft and usually anywhere between a few months old to 12 years...I remember various incidents with such...and every one of them makes me smile..:) Thought I'd recount it and share it with you too...

There was this time I was out with a special friend, we were sitting in the pune university campus and I noticed this cute kid - probably 3-4 years who passed us with his family - called out to him and he turned and walked right over and then started playing with his car and gave it to me:) his folks realized he wasn't with them and yelled at the poor lil fellow to come back...

Another incident...I was in barrista and this german kid...around that age...came by and took the helmet my friend had and then handed it to me..not sure if it was too heavy for him or what? Nevertheless cute :)

Another time it was a slightly older kid...about 10 years who came to help me make christmas decor faithfully while his friends played outside...inspite of me telling him he could go on n join them...I was recovering from jaundice at that time...so having such a sweet friend..helped..tonnes..

And then a very close friend's son remembered me as his piano 'thai' - first thought he was calling me aunty[not happy], till she said it meant 'elder sister' - beaming :)

Then there are my cousins...2 adorable kids who made cards for me ...and wrote 'I love you Liza' on them...the guy drew something that looked like a potato on a stick with straws on the head - that was me...funny till you saw the big heart around it..:) Not to forget my cuz sis ...she's now 7..who used to want me to feed her, bathe her..read to her..sleep with her! Mmmmm... is it any wonder I love kids?

Absolutely adore those tiny lil people...always did..and always will....

To all the wonderful kids out there..you won't be reading this yet here's a big hug...from me..to u...:)

The month so far...

2009-11-18T07:01:00.000-08:00

Been a mad, superb, roller coaster month so far...Started with meeting the bride to be when she was down in Goa to finalize the main wedding stuff..was an exciting 3 days getting the band, photographer, decor, cake, visiting gown stores...etc done..And ever since things have been on a roll.... :)

Got a new job - website design/development and it's wonderful! Since currently both involve using Photoshop and are very creative....double treat! Back in touch with old friends...organizing meet ups like I used to long back in college? - yeah college...so overall - its good!

The best is family and good god fearing friends who make sure that while you enjoy yourself you do so by doing it the right way...:)Will repost later....got a couple of things to do now!

Cheers!

N I'm backkkk....:)

2009-08-31T05:51:00.000-07:00

Been a while I know..and to give you the latest updates..just gonna name a few..have been learning some stuff online..more about that later..and yeah watched the full season 1- 10 of friends..hadn't seen it b4 (I KNOW ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO BELIEVE - but u better believe it!)and really really liked it..ok loved it!So glad Ross n Rachael get tog..and Mon n Chand..n yeah Phoebe n Mike..poor Joey..they had to cast him in another Joey series to complete his end of the story :D

Went for my really close friends wedding on the 22nd..and it was really sweet..perfect couple I must say..the toast master was awesome when he recounted how they met..was touched.

Also met the Good Morning Lord hosts..boy are they full of life!! They started an ambulance which does social service..i.e..reaches out to the poor and others at a nominal rate or for free..as of now its for dentistry and eye check up..they are open to volunteers and other medical doctors to help..so anyone willing..let them know or send me a scrap..they air on Mondays at 8am on 'Good Morning Lord'..

There's a friend who's opened up her shop Bella Rose in Panjim with lovely formal wear..check it out if you get a chance..

This post is a little hazy coz I'm in a hurry right now to get somewhere...catch up with you guys in the next one...

Till then have a glorious week!
C.

That's all for now..

Hairstyles!! :)

2008-12-02T23:11:00.000-08:00

Did this for fun..yet who knows maybe its time I had a change! So let me know what you guys think? :)

Go to Makeover for guys and girls to get one yourself
Hugs xx
Cis

This one owns....

2008-11-30T20:08:00.000-08:00

Memories...

2008-10-24T05:45:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here thinking of what to write..Its finally hit me ever since I resigned a few days back..I might not be going back to Pune again..Atleast not for a while..and I feel mixed about it..just taking a stroll down memory lane and the place I remember most right now is Camp..walking there for the first time when I arrived in Pune..and telling my mom..this is where I want to be..I loved MG road..loved the colors around..the shops..malls..and most of all Planet M..It was like a whole new world compared to Goa..and just right..not as slow as Goa..not as fast as Bombay..(tho I'm biased and still love Goa most!)

And so I arrived in Pune on Sept, 02. Joined a wonderful hostel - Vinay Vikas..where I met some really great girls..learned alot too..what it meant to be independant..to live away from home..and with so 'many' girls...60 of us!! What sharing was all about and caring..doing your own laundry..paying your own bills..cooking your own food..practising for carols..etc etc..making a life for yourself alone in short..I was lucky to have Zenia my best friend there for the first 2 years..

And so I got used to the place..tried to gel with the people there..wasnt easy at first..I met my current closest friends in college there..that I'm still in touch with..joined the SFC..met more folks...Still remember the overnights..singing in the gospel band..making the decor for our party and boy..was that a hit...it was fun:):)

Then there was my internship at Symantec..so this was what working in the corporate world was all about..is what I thought to myself..I had to keep from being the uber friendly goan at work if I had to be taken seriously..din't do a very good job tho at being really professional tho I was still learning..landed my next job at Infosys...and finally what I learned at Symantec helped..my professional skills flourished..I was recognised and appreciated..I must thank the few lovely friends I had there and my manager who was always very encouraging. Infact I think I'm going to list as many names as I can remember right at the end of this..such folks deserve to be named since they hold a special place in my heart which time can never take away....

To name them all - alright all those I can remember right now - friends and folks who helped me for which I am grateful..in no particular order...there was Anne Marie, Joycy, Smita, Lata, Sochan, Ranjita, Purba, Brian, Lou, Mel, Vinod, Wilma, Lorraine, Zenia, Sharad, Analisa, Nolan, Prachi, Prads, Misha, Karen, Doug, Adyan, Hiral, Poonam, Saps, Shra, Poo, Tanu, Parul, Deepa, Boom, Nakshatra, Kunal, Tejas, Deepak, Anuja, Amanda, Suru, Nike, Ken, Tania, Jassi, Kulfi, Yatin, Radhika, Nirav, Gayatri, Seena, Anjali, Deba. A special thank you to A. Selma n U. Ferdie, A. Sylvia n U. Joe, Shra's mom, Gayatri's mom who treated me like I was their own..I'm sure I ve left out many names :( It's been 5 years guys..so if your name's not here..send me a reminder ;)

Just want to tell you all that your the best..you guys rock and you made me feel a lil closer to home everytime with ur presence..thanks for accepting me most of the time as 'ME'...All the best wherever life takes you..for those whom I'm not in touch with as of now....

Miss you guys..

Love XX
Cis

*****Rapunzel Rapunzel....My HAIR days!

2008-10-11T21:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is me without straight hair...yes at one point I had straightened it for fun:) And it was worth the money! Did it in Nov 06 and it stayed on till April 08!!! Anyways I kept cutting off the straight bits till now all I have is my natural mane shown above!

That's the straight look I was talking about...loved it while it lasted! not sure I'd do it again tho..:) Sometimes once is enough :)

Well ok..to be honest if I don't comb my tresses after a bath the resulting look is this one...So yeah..in a way I'm happy and not complaining...And btw..these are my GOOD hair day pics..I'm not putting up the really bad ones..and trust me they are that bad! :D

I wanted to thank all the bloggers out there who have taken the time to read and comment on my posts. It means ALOT. Really. It's nice to know that people you don't even know want to know about you, read about you and then say good stuff to encourage you...It's like a small world of supporters and like minded folks..and for that I'm grateful:)

Cheers to all my friends who read this and my 'blog pals' - faces I haven't seen...friends I'll never know and silent angels in my life..

XX
Cis.

You Don't Face Life All Alone _ Got this in my mail.

2008-10-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

JOHN 14:18 Barclay
18 I will not leave you to face life all alone. I am coming to
you.

Being alone -- with no help -- is a horrible feeling. One the
devil would love for you to believe is your lot.

You are NOT alone! Jesus promised!

When you feel alone, desolate, and helpless -- remember the
promises of Jesus.

HEBREWS 13:5 NIV
5 . . . God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I
forsake you."

Your feelings are not the true test of reality. God cannot lie.
He is with you now, whether you feel like it, or whether it
looks like it, or not.

Since God is always with you, it would be rude to always ignore
Him. So call on Him and discuss things with Him. Let God be
your friend. That's His plan.

SAY THIS: I am not facing life all alone. God is with me.

5 languages of love..- By Chapman.

2008-09-08T00:47:00.000-07:00

The five love languages as identified by Chapman are: 1) Words of affirmation 2) Quality time 3) Receiving gifts 4) Acts of Service 5) Physical touch.

Giving compliments is one way of expressing words of affirmation. Words of encouragement and appreciation, and kind and humble words have the greatest appeal to those who are tuned in to the 'verbal medium'.

Quality time means giving your partner undivided attention. Listening to your partner while watching TV and punctuating it with occasional "hmm," does not qualify as quality time. It involves such things as the eye contact, focused attention and personal space.

Even if you are opposed to commercialism you might be, if your partner feels most loved when you bring gifts, then do so, while being astute enough to avoid bankruptcy.

Physical touch is not the same as sex. Many women, when they are hurting or want to feel loved and needed would say, "I just want him to hold me." To put it in Chapman's words, "If your spouse's primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries."

When People stop working on their marriage and begin to take each other for granted the outcome is this; Love dies of starvation without the "feedback" of appreciation, admiration, display of affection and repeated affirmations.

what about the cases when partners don't know what they are doing? They might not be aware that they are not responding to their partners' mundane and everyday overtures for connecting and seeking attention. Nonetheless, in small ways and slowly, they are edging their partner out. Such marriages don't die from love starvation, they die of malnutrition.

Just one question asked of your partner might very well save your marriage: "WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL MOST LOVED?"

Rarely do both partners have the same primary love language. Identify your partner's primary love language. Learn to express your love to your partner not in your preferred language, but in that of your partner's.

It is HOW YOU RESPOND when your partner wants your attention, support, affection or your audience that will make or break what you have...

*****Wedding Planning Memoirs with the Bride n Groom...

2008-08-18T07:09:00.000-07:00

My sister had come over with her fiance on 15th Aug...I din't know what it would be like..and now I wish they had stayed longer..yes they were down for their wedding planning..It started a month back with us just planning around in Goa for different things..like finding out which venue was available, bridal designers, bands, themes(it changed about 3 times :P), church, etc and booking them since the wedding is just 6 months away...Knowing how it is in Goa around season time, trust me it was not actually a piece of cake..so now was the time we would actually be freezing on alot of stuff..so really wasn't sure what to expect..

Thankfully we managed to get most of the stuff fixed or booked yet the bride n groom had to check it out themselves..at the same time there was this thing about getting to know each other and all of us eager to meet the prospective groom...They were here from the 15th to 18th midday. Which meant 3.5 days...to do most of it...
Well here's how it went..I'm not sure when I will be posting this - probably when more stuff is finalized..yet as of now..just typing this out so I don't forget anything...

15th: They arrived at around 4pm..just lazying about and then went through pictures of bridal outfits, in the evening went to check if the bridal boutique was opened..it wasn't :(...so then just decided to go to the beach and have some snack at foodlands, after which we visited 2-3 places to check if places were available for the grooms family to stay in when they came down to Goa..since he's from banglore..

16th: Invites designed n finalized, checked out the venue and finalized the menu, went to the church to meet the priest, bought some stuff there, finalized on the main celebrant and also the church decor, where pictures would be allowed, hall centrepiece n takeaways finalized upon, few songs decided on with the band.

17th: Guest list confirmed more or less, offertory decided on and also who will be doing which reading and stuff, beautician is a relative with whom we will be confirming, spoke to our friend from the band to confirm the list of songs, spoke to the guy who will be doing the reception decor/lights and got that finalized too, got altar servers who are relatives, got a relative who will be getting the church bouquet prepared. Went to meet the priest who wasn't free and also the bridal boutique wasn't open..usually it is..so that's something we will be doing when sis comes down next..

18th: Moms birthday - Went to the market to buy snacks,picked up the food orders, went to the bank to check Lo's jewellery piece, went to the jeweller's to find out what she'd like, gave the roll for developing, went back to get it, spoke to my aunt about the choir since they will be doing it, checked the bakers n bought Goan eateries, found a place for the grooms folks to stay for a week they will be here, met the photographer/videographer, then came home and celebrated moms birthday by having lunch, taking loads of pics and finally dancing - jive, waltz..we took turns since place wasn't enough..Lo said I should since she thinks im a good dancer..and then Mom said she thinks I'm very graceful:) That sure felt good..coz it was sincere seeing moms astonished face..yes i was too shy to dance as a kid infront of anyone..yet I think 3 of us got the moves from mom...she's excellent...At 5pm we left for the bus stop and bid adieu..I will miss them..at the same time I feel glad..that so much got done and also that my sis has met a really wonderful guy and I have a really sweet and affectionate big bro:)

The best part was everyone in the family contributing their time, ideas, inputs and concern..and our bro to be handling all the so called would be bridezilla tension that din't happen coz he handled it so well..I'm kinda glad coz you know a person's true nature when you see how they react/respond under stress...and kudos to this guy..I was practically pulling my hair out at intervals...tho not for long..the bubbly atmosphere and laughter that permeated our humble residence is something we will treasure for life..My parents were like youth again - I don't know where Dad got the energy to roam around almost the entire day helping out..or Mom who cooked such delicious meals AND came along..And we had fun doing it all..there were many reasons to laugh...countless..it was good..really good:)

I'm so glad that friends, relatives have helped us too...with time, resources, information...most wouldn't happen without all the lovely people we know..and so we are grateful..also those who heard me out when I was at my wits end :D And yes thanks big bro for telling me I should have won a proactive award if there was such a thing..It felt good :P

Will upload some pics up..right now my cams conked off..so have mostly camera snaps..nothing digital..as and when I can get some digi ones, will put them up..

I think what made the difference was interest...mainly my new bro..was pretty interested in whatever everyone had to say..or atleast showed it;) And that was something I think we tend to forget when we are with family since we think they already know how much we care...another important thing was touch..he would hug my folks at random intervals..trust me..my dads not the hugging type..yet he would look forward to it..the biggest gift was seeing this side of my family..we have had hard times..yet they laughed and we had so much fun together, it was like we were an almost ideal family for a while. No matter how imperfect our family might be...I guess its was the love and appreciation everyone received and the humor that brought a smile to everyone's face at such a stressful time..and maybe..just maybe that's one of the many secrets to a happy family life...
Adios..n tc :)

***Happiness - An illusion?

2008-08-10T20:59:00.000-07:00

The reason we are unhappy is not so much because others are 'bad guys'. Sure its disappointing, it does upset us to see things not going well. When others are harsh or to see violence...is not exactly a reason to be jubilant...

1) There is something you can do though..for yourself..Create a list of nice stuff about you...Only good for now and read it to yourself everyday..Your list can include any of these - sweet, understanding, caring, loving, etc etc.

2) ACCEPT you for being you. No one said you have to be perfect. Nobody for that matter is perfect. So why are you trying so hard to be? Sure give your best in whatever you do..yet allow yourself to make mistakes too. Its human. Only when you can accept yourself with everything you have, plus n minus, do you begin to accept others the way they are..Not sure if you accept yourself or not?

- A simple test would be talking to a friend and you don't like something - do you force yourself to go along with it and smile or do you politely yet gently mention how you feel? If its a small thing you can do anyways and forget about it then go ahead and do it...if it's something that really bothers you tho..mention it...be true to yourself...A good friend would appreciate that. Most guys are pretty blunt about what they like and what they don't. Hence they have lesser issues. Think about it..:)

3) Have your friends, dreams, own your feelings, be yourself, balance receiving n giving, be content in yourself.

It wont be too long before your nice feelings flow out towards others and you soon begin to feel the same way about them too. Point is start with yourself. If you feel good about being you..chances of you feeling others are bad is rare. This isn't for those with a narcissistic or self centered attitude however - its for those who realistically embrace both the good and weak points in themselves. At some point when you are comfortable with the good side in you and have fully accepted that part of yourself you can make a list of the things you'd like to change and work on it.

Yes, good stuff in here...yet not easy for me to follow either :)(being myself now, that's a start :D)

Cheers,
C

***Forgiveness and Trust....2 sides of the same story...

2008-08-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

We all face pain at some point in our lives. Someone we are very close to might say or do something to us and that hurts. Face the truth if something hurts, it hurts, forgive them - don't blame, keep in or complain, let it go.

You can only be hurt when you trust someone enough to get close enough to them and be vulnerable....and yes if you hardly get hurt...its coz you don't allow yourself to get 'close enough' to people..

Your forgiveness gives them a chance to change, the ability to trust them again though comes from the efforts they put to change..You might never trust again even if you forgive them if they never change yet you forgive so you can move on..

Its done with. Whatever happened has happened. You can't go back and change anything. You can however grieve it and then release it. Its time to move on. Denying yourself your pain only builds resentment and anger in time.

How do you forgive - tell them in few words how you feel about what they did and leave it at that. Everyone has a right to their feelings, own it and make them know thats how you felt. Chances are they don't know it hurt you...chances are it was deliberate. You never know unless you let them know.

This also gives you a clue about people. The ones to keep and the ones to let go off. If they can understand, apologize and make a sincere effort to change you know you have a keeper. If instead they don't value the way you feel, you've saved yourself a lot of pain now itself.

Put simply, without that security of knowing that someone is strong enough to not punish you harshly when they are upset with you, you will never be able to trust them the way they want to be and vice versa.

If one forgives the other needs to do what has to be done to allow the forgiver to be able to trust them again..

Have a good week! :)

*****Friendship Day - fond memories :)

2008-08-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

Its that day again - friendship day - a day we remember our best friends , close friends and all those who are in our lives to make it more special. While its true with age and every year the idea of how to celebrate changes - the essence of it remains the same. I thought at some point I'd be too old to think of it as a special day. Like Valentines and anniversaries and birthdays. Someday I thought I'd be too wise and know these are only days - just another day - and its more important to make each day special and all that. While I do believe that also... i realized today - I still am the same at heart. I want this day to be special - I want to spend it with those I love...just because..

Looking back I remember fond memories of my girl gang as we called it. Right from school till college. There was Karen, Cheri, Reena, Din, Rash, Analisa..before that Dem and Ser..We'd meet at foodlands to just spend time together and talk about nothing and everything at the same time..We would share dreams, hopes, fears..laughter and that special connection only good friends have..Then there was my youth friends...Bundi, JJ, Janice, Tracy, Mario..who made things lovely by being them and being around.

Later on..I went away..to graduate..made more friends..Ana, Prads, Misha n Smita..Used to meet them along with Robin and others from college. Zenia and Tania soon became my third twin :) They are twins btw.. It was lovely having all of them around..Time for my PG, I moved to Pune..There I met Shra, Saps n Poo..I really felt at home with these friends..it was like i got my old ones back with new names..there was Brian, Wilma, Joycy, Sochan, Ken, Nike, Mel, Vinod, Lou, Lo, Anne..more friends who made it special for me at SFC n in pune.. Along the way I met Poo, Deeps, Adyan, Kulfi, Yatin, Parul, Gandhi, Naks, Suru n Tanu ..friends at work..there are many more yet these really touched my heart...I'm back in goa renewing old friendships now ..meeting some new nice friends..lets see what the next friendship day brings..I'm glad I din't loose any friend...sure I hardly meet some of them now..yet I'm grateful for the times I did spend with them and the warm circle of friendship and I hope it only keeps getting better :) I know with our daily hum drum n busy schedules its not as easy..So for the ones who are in touch even now - Kudos to you guys! :)

I also remember my aunt from bombay who's always been there, Dot, Abi, Bobs, and Eric who have been encouraging, warm friends:)

Happy friendship day to all those mentioned here and those I haven't coz of space n memory restrictions :)

Love you all :)
Cis.

*****Bliss

2008-07-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

Peace... Blues... n Calm..

Under the ocean..a whole new world..

*****Who would you be???

2008-07-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

Who would you be without your story..
A gentle breeze, a mighty wind..

What would you yearn for without your glory..
A humble glance.. a pointed chin..

Who would you be without your pain..
A faint drizzle...heavy rain..

What would you do with all your riches..
Give them up...want more gain..

Who would you see if there was just today..
A cherished face..golden rays..

What would you do if you really knew me..
Walk away... or Stay..

*****Invisible..

2008-07-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

Stranger.. familiar..one of a kind..

We've already made love....countless times in my mind...

*****Lost

2008-07-21T20:51:00.000-07:00

Emptiness.. Space... Nothingness...

Only a void can be filled..

*****Lil things..

2008-07-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

Smiles.. Glances... Gurgles..

A baby speaks.. the heart understands..

*****Comfort..

2008-07-21T20:22:00.000-07:00

Blankets..Showers...Girlfriends..

Some of the best things in life.. are there forever..

***My response to the below post 'Differences'.

2008-07-09T07:39:00.001-07:00

While the answer given by my Indian brother is commendable - I'd like to go a little deeper than what's being said in both letters. True, they are personal views and this one is my own. For those who are a lil clueless - do read the below post to get a better idea of what I'm talking about :)

Yes, I'm an Indian - I wont say I'm proud to be Indian. I wont even say I'm proud to be female or whatever. Fact is I'm human just like anyone else. There is no one superior or inferior - we are all born equal. The minute we are 'proud' - read ego comes in the way - there are clashes, fights, differences and discrimination. So those letters below to me are just that. 2 people being proud about their 'roots'. One that she is a white and the guy about Indian women.

If we put this ATTITUDE aside and look at people being just that 'people' - not a particular caste or race or color or sex - imagine how wonderful things would be. Why do we need to define ourselves by our country or color or language and think that either is superior to the other? Can we instead learn to embrace each other as bringing more variety and beauty to the world. At the end of the day - we all live in one place - Earth. We all share the same sun and water and air. And yet we have these so called differences and judge ourselves by our nationality, etc. Why?

Do we or don't we have more to ourselves than something so superficial. What would the world look like if we all were Indians? Or Chinese? Or Americans? Or we all ate the same food? We all dressed the same way and had the same culture. Or we all were white or all brown or black? Or lets say the whole world was one color - every single thing on earth. White. Or Black. How pretty would that be?

At the end of the day you are who you are because of the choices you make. True environment and genetics and upbringing leaves little room for debate. Yet once you are on your own - thinking for yourself - matured enough - you know that you can make the right choices based on whatever you've learned from all those around you.

As for the statement about Whites trying to be more tanned or voluptuous - we have brown people trying to go whiter and slimmer ,don't we? At the end of the day - it's personal preferences. As long as you let yourself not be influenced by media, what others say or think or prejudices you have learned from someone else - you will know you are BEAUTIFUL just the way you are. You are Unique. There is only one YOU. That in itself is reason to celebrate and reason to be proud of. Not country or color or race. Yet the essence of being who you are. YOU.

Remember, it takes different notes to make a tune and different colors to create the rainbow - let us allow our differences then to paint a picture of unique beauty when put together.

XXX

DIfferences....

2008-07-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by A Caucasian woman who requested a response from Indian men.

She wrote:
Dear Jamie
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Indian male readers.
I am a White female who is engaged to a Indian male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Indian female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Indian women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly Approached
by Indian men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Indian women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Indian men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Wesley Snipes....
I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is Why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us, White women, Because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us And we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Indian men, Let me know.

Thanx-Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA!!!!

RESPONSE

Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Indian man. I Graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia With a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at A major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I Consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Indian men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Indian men date white women. Back in the
day, one of the biggest reasons why Indian men dated white women was because they were considered easy.
The Indian girls in my neighborhood were raised in strict homes. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our my patience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Indian men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Indian women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Indian men look for a more docile woman. Someone We can control. I have talked to numerous Indian men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight.
I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Indian men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris
Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black/Indian women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire Indian women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't Want a 'Disgusted White girl' to be misinformed, Stop thinking that Because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when Indian Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the Indian woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Indian woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was Indian women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the Indian woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. INDIAN women were born with two strikes against them: being Indian and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the Indian women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Indian Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about Indian women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Indian women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy And envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have What the Indian woman has...
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can Walk over and control, I would give you a call.. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
No offense taken, none given.
Signed, Indian Royalty

My response in the next post..:)

*****Beauty in nature..

2008-07-04T00:55:00.000-07:00

Beautiful isn't it? Could watch this for hours..one of the most beautiful of God's creation - the sky at sunset and the golden hues on the sea...

Simply mesmerizing..

*****Best friends...

2008-07-04T00:48:00.000-07:00

Whitey, my lil dumpling is the sweetest pet I've ever seen, don't want to call her a stray coz she is more like one of us. The day isn't complete without her coming around wagging her tail happily after she's given something to eat. A lil fussy eater - yet so adorable. Every time we pass the house she takes shelter in and just call out her name , she comes bounding full speed - lil paw sounds - till she's near you and then awww...she'll wag her tail with all the happiness in the world. Adorable.

The pigeons are my other friends I had during recuperation. That's the first time I ever saw a pigeon so close. Or had them come so close to my feet. I think I had them tamed till mom said they were dirtying the terrace - well they were so had to say goodbye...Yet will always remember them too..loving, gentle friends:)

*****An old painting and terragen work...

2008-07-04T00:44:00.000-07:00

The first is one of my fave paintings I've done till date. Why? Coz of the blue color - blue just mesmerizes me and that's what I tried to capture in this painting I did.
The next one is generated using a software called Terragen. Brian introduced me to this for which I'm really grateful as its wonderful to work with and creates such lovely landscapes!!!
You can get the software and play around with it and create such fascinating landscapes yourself! Try it!

***Graffitti

2008-07-04T00:40:00.000-07:00

This is some graffitti I drew - 3 stars - coz I drew it yet its not originally mine. Someone else had done it and I found it so lovely that I had to attempt it myself. Yes, its not as great as the original yet its the best I could do with a mouse!

Enjoy
XXX

*****Christmas memories 2007...

2008-07-04T00:06:00.000-07:00

Was recuperating from the yellow disease(jaundice)last Christmas so made these decor stuff - using thermocol with glitter and ribbons. Had my mom's 10 year tuition kid Himanshu help me out. He is such a darling really.(Pic above) Made it so enjoyable and less lonely having him around :)So those candles, bells, candy sticks, stars, trees and santa caps encircled in red & yellow are the fruits of our hard work:)

They say God sends helpers to those in need and especially during Christmas I think he sent me a special angel...Now every time I look at these, that's what I'll remember - not the illness or the pain or the loneliness - yet hours of fun with a little kid who gave me my best gift - his time and earned a special place in my heart...

Thanks lil one , God bless :)
XXX

*****World Face of the Month!! :D

2008-07-03T23:36:00.000-07:00

Well, entered for fun and wouldn't have got this if it wasn't for all "My Friends" who voted for me:) So thanks to you guys...nah no cash prize to share - just this lil certificate thats really sweet!! haha:) Gee, I feel like a 10 year old who just earned her fave chocolate icecream! :D

***Good one...

2008-06-14T03:07:00.001-07:00

I’ve seen relationships all my life. The good and the bad ones and there is one thing I’ve observed about the ones that last from the ones that don’t. Which is what I’d like to share with you.
This is not to say that I know it all about successful relationships or what I’m about to reveal is some miracle cure for a relation gone bad, however I can assure you that if you are looking for a better relationship in your current one or looking out to start a new one, this is for you .I cant promise you a bed of roses, but rest assured you’ll start looking more at them then the thorns..
There was this sweet girl, I’ll call her Katie who was dating Mark. As all relationships go, the first year saw both of them madly in love, it was spring all year long for the flushed couple. Second year into their courtship and the excitement was gone. Mark knew everything he thought he had to know about Katie, what she liked , what she wanted. And the same happened to Katie. Soon the nightly calls became less, visits became less frequent and doing things for each other became a liability. Katie being the girl here, as most girls are, started doing more for Mark. More calls, wanted more meetings just to keep what they had alive. And the more she tried, the more Mark drew away…If you are in a one plus year relation and this sounds familiar read on, if not you already know the secrets I’m talking about.
Soon they started seeing each other less often to keep from routine arguments. The once flushed looking couple now lost their sparkle. She was intelligent, talented, so was he but what they could once see was now overshadowed by them concentrating on each others flaws. And the most predictable happened. The once lovely couple said good bye and moved on to find other partners…and then they actually were happier in spite of their current ones being much less compatible than the first. So then, what did change?
I’ll tell you It goes this way. The easiest way to lose someone great is to follow these steps. First woo her, give her all she wants with no complaints, then once you have her completely and she keeps nothing from you, once the mystery is gone, take your relation for granted. Look around for flaws in her and remind her about it to an extent she looses faith in herself. Then when she turns insecure, blame her for it. The once lovely lady you fell in love with no longer exists in your eyes. You look around and about for something exciting and go astray. And then you say you both dint match and leave it. And the same goes for her. She finds fault with you all the time, or gets too emotional which further drives you away. You wonder where’s the person you once knew and she wonders where is that sensitive guy she knew. And you part ways not realizing that you both go find new partners who find you fun and sensitive because the whole cycle starts again. Only this time, because you lost the first time, you’re more careful. You treat this as if it is your last relation and the not-so-perfect girl you take for perfect. What you’re doing here is either being honest, the second time you really got lucky or you’re fooling yourself. To make yourself feel better you pretend this is the right thing. What has changed here is not your partner, but the way you treat your relationship.
Take another relationship, between Jack and Susan. After one year, they both realize they have flaws and neither is perfect , however they know that by focusing on that they will only put the other down. They know their goal is to cherish, encourage and build the other person. So together without criticizing, they support the other rise up. The difference ? Trust and love is built. There is more security here, and maturity. When there is a problem they voice out their concerns knowing the other isn’t a mind reader and then work towards making things better. Instead of taking a break like most couples do, which actually leads to a lot of pain even after they patch up, these two would sit down, discuss what was going wrong and promise each other they would take steps to improving themselves and actually do it. Sometimes its not the other person who needs to change, they are actually perfectly fine the way they are, what needs to go is the way we think. To be really happy, needs 2 people working it out. If its just one person, eventually patience will run out.
Jack and Susan know that they went for each other in the first place because there was something special they saw in each other. They also know that to see someone you love grow is the fruit of any good relationship and being there for the other always. When one partner had problems, the other would listen, understand and act so as to have least hurt or misunderstanding in their relation And they treated it like their last relation, so they gave it their best.
At our workplaces, we always keep learning to keep up with new developments and to rise to the top. To be recognized and get our worth we always give what we believe is our worth. If today you are in a relationship and you feel less than fulfilled you need to ask yourself few questions.
If you are conscientious about your job, then ask yourself if you are more about your relationship. Do you find ways to better it? Do you do things willingly for your partner because you know the emotional and spiritual rewards will be greater? Do you take your partner for granted or do you work everyday like you do at your workplace, to see that you keep her/him happy? Do we give our partners the same attention and effort like we do our work? This is for those who do take their job seriously. We constantly aim to show our best side when we know we will be getting something in return, when we already have it, do we now have to right to treat it like it has no value? At the end of our lives we all desire happiness, not money but fulfillment.
I know when I’m 70 plus and looking back, along with my achievements at work., the money I make or accolades I receive, I want to be able to say I was a successful person in all areas of my life. Especially with my family, the person I spend my life with and my children. I want them too to say that I was a big reason they truly ‘lived’ and not just existed.I want to be responsible for keeping my family strong and whole, unlike people who take their loved ones for granted and lose much more than their lives in the process.
Life is a gift, to be shared. You can decide whether you want to look back with gratitude or regret.
I’ll like to leave you with one last line.Whatever comes your way. Wherever you are, if you remember to give important people an important place in your life, you are going to have a blessed relationship. If you really love someone let them know it everyday, you might think I’m exaggerating but its important for many reasons. 1) You never know how much time you or they have in this world. 2)The main reason great relationships break is because one wasn’t sure they were loved enough.
And yes, if you don’t feel anything also, let them know. Don’t stay around trying to make something work, just say it, you both will feel free and move on.
And remember what I just shared with you.Before its too late.

God Bless.

***Mars v/s Venus with a lil humor!

2008-05-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

This is true for most of us yet there could be variations based on how male or female you are. We do find men who are more nurturing and women who are more career oriented. Yet the average male is 70% work oriented and the woman is 70% relationship oriented. How does that translate into real life? Read on and enjoy.

Girls:
1) Talk on the phone for hours - more communication means stronger relationships - its like 'working' for you guys.
2) Speak about what is on their mind or talk about what they 'feel' when they are upset or stressed - speaking it out is just thinking in the open, they don't want advice, just someone to listen.
3)Shop for hours and maybe buy nothing at the end or buy a lot more than they planned - Shopping for them is equivalent to you watching sports or spending pool time with the guys. It their way or unwinding or relaxing - yeah it doesn't seem like it yet it sure is - let's leave out who's paying for it for now ;)
4)Nurturing/Caring - By caring they show they love you.
5)Love helping others AND being helped- Helping to them is a sign of trust and bonding, not weakness, if they offer to help means they 'care' - read up for what care means.
6)Happiest when relationships are running smoothly - Yes relationships are the basis of contentment for a girl, thats why her friends are important and what they think or her spouse or her parents - heck anyone she's related to and finds important. So if she takes hours to dress, let her. Its the same as you taking hours on finding the best way to do your job.
7)30% work oriented, 70% relationship oriented - Yes so she gets the same high you get when you get appreciated at work when she feels liked in a group. The same reason goes for why she likes spending time talking, meeting friends, shopping - you get it. Forming loving bonds in short makes her happy like doing well at work makes you..
8)Being liked or harmony in a group important - Yes this again is like you wanting appreciation at the job you do, she wants it at being the person she is which is why most women keep trying to improve themselves or others.
9)More verbal and expressive - This is due to biology. God's plan :) Ok ok, this the way the brain is developed. And this is a fact - go back to science class or ask your biology teacher (hint: yes the girls will love this and not the guys yet here goes - the right side is more verbal and left side is more logical - which one do men and women use most? Alright for the answer - women can use both together and men use one at a time.
10)Can take hints looking at body language - Yes she can gauge when someones upset, or happy and she will instinctively offer help or be willing to listen to the person. Yes this is her way of saying she cares a lot and you matter. This is primarily to help her know what her baby wants coz obviously infants cant talk, so a woman has it built into her to read the signs and know or gauge what their baby wants. Imagine both parents looking quizzically at each other everytime their baby cries. Is it hungry or wants to be carried or what? :P
Same way though as guys we know you want your guy time and want to be alone, accept our instincts, tell you you are happy we care and you love us too, however right now you want a little time alone and no that doesn't mean you don't love us, its just a guy way of solving problems. Remember leaving someone alone when upset to a girl is close to murder. Its like leaving your baby to cry alone and not going over to carry it. Would take a real nasty woman to do that. Yes, and we know you aren't babies yet we are talking about love here.

Men:
1) Talk on the phone less or prefer not talking at all, prefer action or doing stuff together - the prehistoric man would fire gaze for hours with his friends, sitting quietly to gather his thoughts and be on the alert for any danger or just do stuff together like hunt:P - sounds familiar?
2) Wont speak what is on their mind or talk about what they 'feel' when they are upset or stressed most of/all the time - speaking about it is a sign of weakness to a guy and why would he tell his girl and upset her when he can be a man and solve it himself. So he rather sit quietly and think about it. Now your girl might not be able to leave you alone here, please be gentle with her and know she is only doing what she knows best out of hmm..biology. Its her way of loving you - if you realize that you'll be able to tell her with equal love that you want to be alone for a bit yet will come back into her arms or wherever once your fine. Lol.
3)Shopping? Uhuh, not again - Shopping for them is equivalent to having a list of 2 items and buying them after checking 1 or 2 shops and then heading home. Or better still, let the girls do it!
4)Providing - Yes men love to provide for their women and children. That shows they care about you. True, women do it differently by nurturing and might want their guys to do that coz thats how they understand love. So once in a while guys go on and nurture the woman in your life and if you don't know how, ask your 'girl' friends. Girls, let your man be your hero - it makes him feel good. I'm not saying cry and call for help all the time yet you know what I'm saying right - stuff like let him help you out especially with carrying stuff around or your heavy bags and no I don't mean your pretty pink handbag:P - anyways you know what I mean so I wont get into details here.
5)Love helping others - If they offer to help means they 'care', yet getting help isn't a sign that they are loved exceptionally like it is for a girl so they would prefer not having you offer to help unless they ask for it.
6)Happiest when work goes smoothly - Yes work is the basis of contentment for a guy, thats why work is important and what their position is in the their workplace. Its not so much about being liked for who they are as much as being admired and respected for what they do.
7)70% work oriented, 30% relationship oriented - This is self explanatory - what relationships do for her, work does for the guy. Though yes both still have a need for the other 30%. Note: this varies from person to person - this is about the average man and woman. There are girlish guys and boyish girls who'd have different percentages.
8)Being the best in a group is important or at whatever they are good at - speaks about power again, going back to the hunting man days, they would set out in groups and see who would bring home the best bacon as that would make them respected and admired by all. Hasn't changed much now, has it?
9)Less verbal and expressive - Read point 9) under girls.
10)Need to tell them directly, hinting doesn't work - Hints? Whats that. It's all about telling your guy that you want something special and when and reminding him about your anniversaries and sometimes birthdays or you're most likely to not get anything or have him forget unless its about remembering the day you got a promotion at your job.

So what do you do huh? Unless you are both male or both female or a guy with a boyish girl or a girl with a girlish guy - you are bound to see things differently. Heck what a girl would do to show love, a male wouldn't do coz its a sign of weakness, etc. So what do we do? Instincts tell us we will do what comes naturally to us most of the time. What is important is 'Understanding'. Knowing you are with a biologically completely different being is both fascinating and frustrating at times especially when you can't translate what they are saying or why they are saying it. This is when Communication comes in. And guys you have to work on this bit to have a happy relation. Otherwise you will never know what shes trying to tell you - remember the hints and all? So ask her about stuff especially when she is sitting quietly - no she doesn't understand fire gazing and wants you to hug her and ask her whats up nicely ofcourse. And because of our different work and relationship priorities, make some time together in the week which is just your time with each other away from your work and she away from her friends. Or again you'll find things going haywire. Try it and good luck.

Till next time.
XX

*****Things are never what they seem...

2008-05-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

I was going through my earlier blogs(read: too much free time) and I looked at it from different perspectives - at least I tried to. I'm not blogging for myself only - it's reaching a vast majority out there and I want to ensure the right message gets through. The fact remains though that we all look at things differently - its like different spectrums of the rainbow you know - I could be looking at things through the blue one and you through red! And yeah what we see will be completely different as well as what we interpret.

So this blog is about clarifying my blogs. Now again its not because someone told me they felt something controversial to what I wrote. Heck no - that would be another assumption. Yet I decided to do this coz I want the right point to get across - it might still not yet I'll try.

There are posts about world issues like Global warming to relationships to events in my own life in general. Have I experienced the potent effects of Global warming to write about it? NO. So why do i write about stuff that is probably not from my experiences at all? Its simply to exchange knowledge. Yes I read a lot. Again I'm not saying others don't or don't know. Yet if even one person gains something and decides to take action my work is done.

Same thing about relationships - I've read over 25+ books on the same. Especially differences between men and women. And I've subscribed to another 4-5. I've gone through expert advice by professionals on different situations and have spoken to friends or heard from them about others.

So I probably haven't experienced anything I've written about relationships myself - yet I'm passing on knowledge. Again I'm open to comments about what worked for you to expand my knowledge. Another thing I've learned is this - Half the stuff I 'know' I can't really put into action myself. So if it helps some folks do - nothing like it.

At the end of the day - this place is where I share information from reliable books, sources, people and off n on my own experiences. Though this is merely a place to view general opinions. It's very unlikely to come out here. So that's another thing I thought I'd make clear. At times I want to be married with kids - other times I prefer staying single. Stuff like that isn't what's really in my heart - they are passing thoughts.

If I see violence in some family I know or read about it in the papers I might talk about staying single - if I see a loving family somewhere else - I will blog about being married. And the end of the day - this place is where I choose to be as versatile as I want - pen down my thoughts as they come 'for the moment'. Yet at the end of the day what I really feel or want or will do - is something only I know and probably those closest to me.

So take this as a place to learn, share and grow. It's a place to be free and feel free. It's a place for the child in me to come out and like someone coz I got a chocolate and not like someone coz I got a yelling :P So things aren't what they seem and if you think you know me through what I write - nopes you probably don't. (Hint: My poetry is about me though) Don't judge me by this - just know that important decisions for me are taken outside a blog. Always.

Enjoy the weekend.
XX

*****People over the world...

2008-05-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

Lately I've taken a fascination to getting to know people from all over the globe. Different continents, America, Africa, Australia - etc! Why sure beats me. Maybe its curiosity - maybe it's just about getting to know what makes them the way they are? I don't know for sure though yup, traveling the world and meeting new faces sure spells 'Interesting' to me.

Moving aside from that for now - I've been home for a little over 6 months. Yes, I have learned quite a bit I wouldn't had I just been working and relaxing on weekends. And its mostly about people. People I've met, people I've just observed and listening to others talk about them. And I must say it feels like I'm all of my 26 years and more now. For one, I know elders know a lot more about life than they tell you and have been through so much more than we give them credit for. And you really never know what they mean unless you are in a similar situation yourself. Before I knew these things - now I have actually experienced some of it.

There are bad things happening in so many places. No I don't mean to depress you yet if you look around - there are things that are taking place and we are cozy in our lil homes unaware, ignorant or completely unconcerned about it - unless yes - it happens to us. Yes I've done things I'm not proud of myself and someone told me that I could use this to be more aware and guide others, not use it to feel guilt. And yes I know i wouldn't do those things again. At the same time I do know what others go through and I do know what to say to help them get to a better place than where they are IF they want to.

Wars, religious fights, global warming, pollution, addicts, rapes, robberies, murders, anxiety, stress, broken homes and broken people. And I wonder where is all this leading to really. People at wars say its ok to kill - you kill or be killed!?? I mean why do we even have wars? There are so many porn sites on the net - its like a competition and they all do the same thing. Whats new in that and yet they are paid - and we crave for such temporary passions. And you might argue and say its for money - well what's the point in gaining the world and losing your soul really? Your already lost. No matter what u think or what you have. Thats the plain truth.

It's really depressing to know that for the sake of money, power or fame people are willing to pay such a hefty price. No, I haven't got it made at all. I've been through a lot of shit myself. A lot. Sure I haven't seen wars - yet I have seen more than someone my age in my safe lil town would see. And I think the only thing that has stopped me from going the other way is the concept of God. Yeah some say even that is false. I don't care really as long as at the end of the day I know I'm not guilty or too numb to feel anything. And neither am I condemning those who have had it hard in life. I'm not. However giving in to your problems wont solve your problem. And taking the common road will not help either. Think about what you really want and you know it will be love - not lust. Peace not war. Happiness not temporary pleasure. And when you do - life will be colorful once again even if it means taking the narrow road just to get where you have to be.

I wish you strength and courage when things are tough. I wish you happiness and peace when you are in despair and pain. And I wish you be surrounded by angels who come to give you hope like they do time and again I go down on my knees and pray.

God bless XX

*****About me...About Time :P

2008-05-05T23:39:00.000-07:00

This should make it to the About me pages in orkut n facebook yet it's something I rather have on my blog coz seriously who can fit a description about themselves in that space? I figured if I were to drive people crazy it's better on a blog esp if they asked for it by peeping in here:)

I love spending quality time with family n close friends..Depending on my mood the indoors or great outdoors is where I'd be..at times I'd love to go camping or trekking or try out water sports - tho i can't swim! Other times I rather stay in and sing, write poetry, paint, bake or play badminton:) I guess I feel best though when surrounded by nature like at the beach with friends or simply sitting alone watching the waves splash against the shore. I love counseling folks about emotional or relation issues - yeah try me;)

I like socializing, getting to know people though I keep close a select few. Folks who touch not just my mind but also my heart time and again. And yes I'm fiercely loyal about the ones I care about though I believe in being unbiased in arguments, I'd still stick to the ones I love. How could I forget - this should have been first! I loveeeee dogs and lil kids. Absolutely ADORE both. Yup sentimental movies make me a lil teary so that's something I'd only go for with those I trust. LOL. Poetry is my forte and so is receiving it. Especially original ones. That makes me a card lover - yes I design cards too though nothing s out yet:P I do thermocol decor and if there is anything that needs creativity or weird ideas - I'm your man - err...girl. :)

God means everything to me though I know at times I fail to show that in day to day life. Yet he has always been there for me - always. And every time I think I'm all alone, he sends his angels in the form of friends or family who care and I must say i feel blessed. Well I have my negative traits too - yet this place isn't apt to list them down. Note this is about my interests and what I love or like doing - not my qualities. That's something every individual should figure out for themselves after they know someone well enough.

Till next time. Ciao.

***Solving disagreements in Relationships..

2008-04-29T20:13:00.000-07:00

There is one fact - ALL of us are different. We think differently, feel differently and have different beliefs and priorities. Unless its harmful to yourself or another person - I would like to say no one is wrong in being different. That much said lets move on to the actual topic.

Since we are different - we WILL have different opinions about probably 75% of the decisions that we might come across. Maybe more, maybe less. Yet based on how you think and feel and all of the above this number could mean you are like peas in a pod - which makes it easier to get along - not coz the other person is your soul mate yet coz they 'agree' with 'you'. And the other side you can have someone who is a complete mismatch and yet if you can understand where they are coming from and this calls for 'maturity' - you know things will work out.

Lets take 2 children playing, both decide playing house with their barbie dolls is a wonderful idea coz its something they BOTH want to do. Shows maturity? NO. Its ALWAYS easy to like anyone who agrees with you and thinks like you do. Take another eg. A child wanting to play house and another wanting to play hide and seek in the open. Now what according to you would be the best decision? Asking one to agree to the other coz house is a better game - this points to a lack of maturity.

Suggesting something else they both might like points to learning to make peace and reach a middle ground. Yet taking turns in learning to play the others game would need most maturity in this case, don't you think so? So I'll let you apply this to a relationship. Its not different at all. How you react shows which level of emotional maturity you are on. You might either convince the other to take your side and do it you way which ultimately will lead to more anger and pain. And no you haven't won. You've just lost something precious.

Or you could find mutual ground. This means you just find something you both like and its one step ahead coz you want both to be happy which is still much better. And the ultimate is rare to find that is; both willing to take turns and try what the other suggests and learn something new. Who knows you might grow to like it more than your partner. This calls for very high emotional maturity and also means you are open to expand what you already know and grow.

After all isn't that what a relation is meant to teach us. Grow as people and not remain where we were at the start. Gain fresh perspectives? No one is wrong and you might not want to accept the new lesson which is fine but you tried and that counts. Though again let me stress that only if this isn't harmful for you or the other - agree to do it. Otherwise firmly saying no is the best thing to do. We don't want doormats here. Neither do we want leaders. We are called to be partners.

Another eg would be at your workplace. How would you disagree with your boss, your team mate whom you think is as good as you or not as good as you and then someone under you? Your style will most likely be different in each case. Now in a relation see which category your method of disagreeing fits in. Do you treat your partner like a boss, a subordinate or someone you respect on your level or maybe someone you don't respect who is on your level?

At the end of the day its all about respecting your differences. Everyone has a right to their own opinion and feelings. That makes them unique and that makes them ..who they are. In a relation you succeed or win a fight when you bring out the best in your partner and not make them your clone. If you remember these few facts when disagreeing, your relation will blossom to be the best it can be with 2 separate individuals enriching it with different perspectives and yet living in harmony.

This brings us to priorities which varies with situations Family might be your priority over work. Yet if your child has a minor bruise you would still go in to work versus your child having major surgery and you having an important presentation. At this point your priorities might shift based on what you think is the importance of the situation. So thats something else that most relationships have a problem with. Learning to accept that each one will find something more important or less. And how do you solve this?

Again lets take a child who feels going to the park is more important than going to a place of worship at a given time. At this point you might think its more important to go for mass yet your child thinks differently. What will you do so you both are happy? You can agree to go after you both have done mass together or you can go with your child and do mass the other day if its daily mass. So at these points weigh whats the best alternative.

Fighting about it makes things worse. Respect the other. Find a middle way if you cant try each others ways. So no one gets hurt and you grow in your relationship. After all only in wars you win when you 'fight' your understandings, in a relation you win a fight when you 'understand' each other..don't confuse the 2...till next time..:)

*****My take on guy friends..

2008-04-17T23:51:00.001-07:00

With time there is a lot I've learned about guys and what makes them tick and all that. And its the same old story everywhere. Most guys will be aloof when you give them attention. They need their so called space. And once u give them space they come running to you. I have met very few guys who are different from this norm. Anyways moving on...there are good sides to them too.

Ya, for once, less gossip, more on the face talk, and less beating around the bush. Easier to forgive and forget and more helpful be it day or night. Then again what's the catch huh. The catch is this - Very few - and I mean it - are well balanced. Or try to be. Most will have faults that they prefer to keep forever with excuses that they were born that way! Born that way? Huh? Really? Nice to know.

I have met a few great guys though. "FEW". Nevertheless really awesome people - emotionally very matured and isn't that what every girl wants really? not talking romantically - yet as friends. I can be myself with such guys and they have no problem whatsoever - there are no complications too - hidden meanings or anything of that sort. WUSIWYG - neat really.

And that's the great part about having such friends. Be yourself - be accepted. They are there and yet they don't crowd you. They are fun and yet can be serious when required. They are patient and compassionate and willing to see your point of view. And with them you can just BE who you are. You don't need to prove yourself, nothing is expected from you and yet you're loved. Very few people are emotionally matured these days - true they have all the other personality assets - yet what's the point really?

In short - the world is a crazy place. Being in it - make it simpler n easier for others to be who they are meant to be. Everyone's here for a purpose - their own - help them find it - don't expect them to live yours.

Anyways to all the wonderful guy friends I have - a very small number but nonetheless amazing - thanks for being there and who you are - and letting me be who I am when I'm with you.

Ciao:)

*****Guess who's back!!

2008-03-21T22:42:00.000-07:00

Ok guys this is my 40th blog to you all:) When it touches 50, maybe we'll celebrate or something - i pop a bottle this end n u do the same your end - what say? LOL. Anyways to get back to ME - since this blog is mostly about Me - Its been a while that i have blogged. And I'm gonna give you a short synopsis of the past few months and well mention a little of whats been happening. I'll leave the not so good parts out:)

So I was down with jaundice also known as hepatitis A - at least thats what I got. And no this blog is not going to talk about the suffering I went thru;) Rather how do you avoid it and what do you do if you get it. Now lets get a lil medical here :) Read on, I promise you I wont bore you - I'll try not to. :)

Drink boiled water! I know thats a tough one if like me you were/are living out of home. Yet trust me if you don't really care about what you drink and where or what you eat for that matter - at least go get your hepatitis A shots:) Unless you really don't mind a 6 month break and 8 kgs off your body and not looking at that chicken leg while you're there. Ok, lets add all non veg, any spices and oily stuff to the list. Complete NO :)

Yeah I promised you I wouldn't bore you so thats it, if you do get it - well just know that being tired almost everyday is a natural symptom and you're not growing old! And yeah if you're feeling nauseous, its not good news in this case! Have a lot of water - boiled mind you, and eat fruits, boiled food(yeah it sounds yuck but i'm time you'll grow to love it)and lots of veggies. Add sugarcane juice - please grind it at home - you don't want to catch something else next - and coconut water. All in all minimize your activity and in a month or 2 - if all goes well and it should - don't worry - you'll be fit and fine and writing and reading blogs :)

Thats for now. See - was interesting huh? Takes a lot to turn a sad topic n make it sound like half the fun its - not :)

Till next time - I gotta have some boiled water now and yeah nice fresh veg food in sometime :) And yeah, it feels good.

Something about me:) As a certain site seems to claim based on certain aspects unique to moi;) Read 4 fun!

2007-09-26T22:57:00.000-07:00

You are most known for your leadership and extroverted and assertive nature. You are richly sensual, enjoying the good things in life and the physical pleasures that come with them. You are blunt, bold and strong. Best when it comes to meeting goals because of your reliable persistence.
You are also strongly independent and determined and have the physical stamina to stay your course. You have a great love for culture. You often maintain extensive art collections and tend to be artistic, sometimes through singing. You enjoy partnership and marriage, and use your charm -- as well as your focused perseverance -- to work toward harmony and personal security potential for great satisfaction in life. You are extremely patient and dependable. You greatly enjoy athletics, as sports give you a positive and healthy outlet for some of your natural aggression. You appreciate both individual challenge, especially aerobics, as well as the group challenge of football and soccer , such as hiking. You could possibly be an expert rock climber, kayaker or skier. You are dynamic, stable and passionate.
Your talents are better suited to leading a group. You will work tirelessly for your ideals and you care deeply about advancing rights and freedom for yourself and for others. In your wedlock, you'll watch what has worked for previous generations and incorporate it into your own lives and see what has failed in the past and try to make working changes. Educational reform may be high on your agenda. You have the power to change any system that you feel. You think big, and your actions could make ripples throughout the world. You are the classic steel hand in the velvet glove, power hidden by smooth, sexy charm. Any situation which requires diplomacy is your natural arena, making you a sublime politician. You also excel at rallying others around a cause with your stirring speeches and choice motivational methods, and you'll always be able to figure out an innovative approach to fighting a battle. Sensual pleasures are your passion. You prefer a relationship which is deeper, more vital, more fulfilling in every way. In your long-term relationships you'll want to be in charge; you may want to choose a partner who is willing to follow your lead. You think you're right most of the time and in fact you usually are. You prefer giving your time to causes dealing with a lack of resources: homelessness, hunger, neglected children, or for those wanting for affection or sensory or material comfort.
You are extremely idealistic and farsighted in your dreams. You never accept shallowness from yourself or others. You are
sensitive, compassionate and romantic and express any anger or aggressive tendencies with tact, charm, and diplomacy. Your flexibility and balanced outlook make you an easy going, cooperative partner. You are gracious and entertaining, and attract many, due to your curiosity and willingness to try anything new. You are sensual and affectionate with those you feel close to, and are gratified by lots of physical contact. Setting may be very important to you, you may feel better in a room full of flutes and flowers. You offer a peaceful loving nature to your relationships and will be happiest with those who are demonstrative and expressive with words. Your mind operates in a very deliberate and methodical manner, you are patient and persevering and you succeed not so much because of your mental brilliance, but because you have the ability to concentrate and follow a project through to its completion. You have an aptitude for singing or drawing.
With close friends you share intense emotional connections and perhaps a common spirituality, you would want someone who can read your mind and intuit your needs. A mate whose open mind and heart will free you from fears or reservations will make you the happiest.

*****These are a few of my...

2007-06-27T05:21:00.000-07:00

Life has so many twists and turns. You never know when the tide will turn. My life seemed to be full of them - though the good always overcame the bad. And then just when i thought everything was perfect, ok - nearly perfect - the tide turned.
I dont want to go into any details here but just lets say i came across a different set of people. People i had never come across in my entire life before that. Maybe God thought i was ready to face the world now maybe he was just testing me - Maybe i had just grown up. Either ways it happened. And it taught me a hell lot.

It started with a couple of them. The kind i love to hate. People who bitch - for various reasons
1)Its in their genes (probably their family does it)
2)They have nothing better to do.
3)They are insanely jealous of someone better than them in any one or many ways.
4)Their boyfriend is probably a good friend of yours and they cant stand it.
5)You're much better than them at work or just in general.
6)They are plain stupid.

And so yes it happened. I dont know which category these folks fell in. Maybe one, maybe none, maybe all. Yet they were out to find fault and boy did they find it?! There is a saying which goes this way - If you want to see bad in others - you can in everything they do, or you can choose to see good in others in which case you're hardly in the above category and me thinks this type is 'very' rare so if you find them - keep them as friends. The world is slowly getting full of folks who just follow the rest to fit in - no matter how bad they might be - follow them - be a part of the crowd.
So yes, this brand of folks and let me tell you, the world has started to get full of them - well i guess its contagious you know - nag nag nag and then soon have another person join you - whoa! Sounds like fun huh? nah, not to me.

So yes, the strategy is find someone who has one tiny trait that bothers 'you'. Or many like you. And then find those folks it bothers. Coz not everyone thinks like that as i said in the start - most people dont like finding fault with every tiny thing. And then form a group - the bitching crowd and do just that. Everytime you meet, when you have nothing better to do - start bitching- make sure you tell enough people about it. Even those who dont really figure - why? Beats me. I dont like this pasttime anyways so i dont know why anyone would want to tell the rest of their clan about it. But they do. Maybe they are on a popularity spree you know - trying to win people to their side or maybe just get them against people they dont like. Why? Again beats me.

If i have a problem with someone i take the approach i know best. Being humans with different cultures and mindsets - i know noone thinks alike. Whats one man's food will be another man's poison. So anytime someone does something i might not like or understand - i prefer asking 'them' why they did it. And their response is what helps me build my understanding of the situation. Well not everyone favor this route. Most folks i have come across - unfortunately - will ask ten people around them about something they dont understand about you 'first'. And build their assumptions around their own thinking. Well, guess the new generation has brought alongwith it - a new brand of people - mindreaders!!:P

Well, Another thing i noticed if you tend to be quiet while you have ten, or maybe 15 people thinking 'bad bad' stuff about you, they believe they are right. Voila! Yeah, they really do. Maybe its just an inborn mentality and we do seem to have more narrow minded folks here.

Sad but true - the rest get their kicks from going around spreading what's the only thing they really have within them - filth. I'm being pretty blunt here i know - not that it gives me any pleasure posting this article however it's for the few out there who have the courage to speak up when injustice is done even if it means being abandoned from your 'groupies'. And the few who might have been subject to such treatment at any point - to never give in and stand firm for yourself, your beliefs and know that small minded folks will always crowd you especially when you're someone worth talking about;)

And yes to hold your head high and stand your ground even if you're alone - These times are actually a blessing as i see it. Coz i know who are gullible, i know who has their own mind - i can separate the fruits from the weeds so to say now. I know who are my close friends and i have learnt to read people. I also know the worst are those who stand on the fence - Plus i've also learnt how hard it is to forgive but that forgiveness brings true peace and there are always 2 sides to everything - it's so easy to misunderstand if you dont outright talk to the person involved. I now value those who show genuineness in character even if everything around them is falling. It's amazing coz i know how much effort it takes - to be quiet when everything around you seems to be falling apart.

Since most folks are so 'interfering' they dont seem to understand how people who mind their own business exist. Maybe i owe it to my mom. No matter what happens, she is a woman of character - no matter how many problems - she stands here ground for whats right and most of the time without saying a word in her defence. Which gets the rest to think like i said before that they are right. Seems like we need folks to fight back to mean they are good people.

As i said before there are 2 sides to everything - silence is mostly interpreted as being a victim - I know and i can tell you it can also be interpreted as being a true survivor.

You're a city chick with a hip and urban style!

2007-06-01T06:23:00.000-07:00

Always on the cutting edge of just about everything you do, you're not afraid to experiment with fashion and show off your exciting personality. Whether you're heading to class, an after-school activity, or a mate's party, you don't mind taking the time to put your best foot forward and hopefully, have the most happening outfit around.

Influenced by big city life, your look can be chic one minute, grungy the next. It's just a matter of how you feel and what vibe you're ready to rock that day. Sound stylish and cool? Believe us, it is.

Your Unconscious Mind Is Most Driven by Curiosity.

2007-06-01T05:51:00.000-07:00

You are full of questions about life, people, and your own potential. You spend more time than others imagining the possibilities for your life – and you're open to things others are too afraid to consider. You have an almost physical need to know and do more. It's only through new experiences that you feel a greater understanding of yourself and the world.

You also have a rebellious streak that shows up when you feel unable to truly influence the world or circumstances around you. Your appetite for novel experiences also shows an openness others don't have, but wish they did. Your psyche is very rich; the more you learn about it, the more you will understand who you really are...

***Global Warming Threat ...

2007-05-17T20:51:00.001-07:00

Global warming is becoming a increasing threat to the world - some facts about the effects in India is mentioned below.

Garhwal Himalayas, India -- Glacial retreat at record pace. The Dokriani Barnak Glacier retreated 66 ft (20.1 m) in 1998 despite a severe winter. The Gangorti Glacier is retreating 98 ft (30 m) per year. At this rate scientists predict the loss of all central and eastern Himalayan glaciers by 2035.

Southern India - Heat wave, May 2002. In the state of Andhra Pradesh temperatures rose to 120?F, resulting in the highest one-week death toll on record. This heat wave came in the context of a long-term warming trend in Asia in general. India, including southern India, has experienced a warming trend at a rate of 1?F (0.6?C) per century.

Mt. Everest - Retreating glacier.The Khumbu Glacier, popular climbing route to the summit of Mt. Everest, has retreated over 3 miles (5 km) since 1953. The Himalayan region overall has warmed by about 1.8?F (1?C) since the 1970s.

The effects in future will be devastating if this continues, flooding of coastal areas which could later spread to central areas, death tolls rising due to heat waves; for more information go to:

http://www.climatehotmap.org/asia.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/1037114.stm
http://liveearth.msn.com/green

It's upto every individual to take up the challenge of protecting our environment - collectively we can still help save our dying planet, our generations to come depend on it - our lives depends on it..

Are we ready to take up the challenge?

Please pass this on - it will be a step on your part - our part together to do something..
There's nothing to be said if you dont, it's your planet as much as mine..

Will you make a difference??

If we hold on together - Current song i'm listening to..lovely

2007-05-11T00:44:00.000-07:00

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

What kind of girl am i??

2007-05-04T01:27:00.000-07:00

You are a Rocker Girl!

If you don't have musical talent, you've got a talent for picking out great CD's.
Music rules your life - and you've got the best MP3 collection of anyone you know.
Many guys find you intimidating, but a select few think you're the catch of a lifetime.
Start hanging out in more used record stores, and you'll find love with a fellow rocker!

*****33 killed, 15 wounded - Dont know what to say..

2007-04-17T05:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, thats what happened in Virginia. For those who are not aware about it, check the papers or google for full news. I'm not going to go into details here expect that as the title puts it these people were killed and they were students.

Makes you wonder what drives some people to take such drastic measures. I can't imagine the horror, pain and trauma their families are going through. Or what the survivors will hold in their memories long after this incident is forgotten. Someday like the Tsunami, earthquakes, bomb blasts, this too will be just history.

There is just one point i want to make here. Life is short, you never know what will happen or when or whether you'll see the ones you love tomorrow. Never take each other for granted and live in peace. Anything can happen, be prepared...so if tomorrow never comes, there will be no regrets.

I'm not going to go on about this. Whoever's reading this, please say a small prayer for those lives and their families. That they find the strength to get through and we learn that in the face of something like this, nothing really matters...and what really does is what needs our attention...not just today..but always..

Keep the faith..

How Does Love Speak - (got this in my mailbox- lovely)

2007-04-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

How does Love speak
In the faint flush upon the tell-tale cheek,
And in the pallor that succeeds it; by
The quivering lid of an averted eye -
The smile that proves the parent of a sigh
Thus doth Love speak.

How does Love speak
By the uneven heart-throbs, and the freak
Of bounding pulses that stand still and ache
While new emotions, like strange barges, make
Along vein-channels their disturbing course,
Still as the dawn, and with the dawn's swift force
Thus doth Love speak.

How does Love speak
In the avoidance of that which we seek
The sudden silence and reserve when near;
The eye that glistens with an unshed tear;
The joy that seems the counterpart of fear,
As the alarmed heart leads in the breast,
And knows, and names, and greets its godlike guest
Thus doth Love speak.

How does Love speak
In the proud spirit suddenly grown meek,
The haughty heart grown humble; in the tender
And unnamed light that floods the world with splendour;
In the resemblance which the fond eyes trace
In all fair things to one beloved face;
In the shy touch of hands that thrill and tremble;
In looks and lips that can no more dissemble
Thus doth Love speak.

How does Love speak
In wild words that uttered seem so weak
They shrink ashamed to silence; in the fire
Glance strikes with glance, swift flashing high and higher,
Like lightnings that precede the mighty storm
In the deep, soulful stillness; in the warm,
Impassioned tide that sweeps thro' throbbing veins,
Between the shores of keen delights and pains;
In the embrace where madness melts in bliss,
And in the convulsive rapture of a kiss
Thus doth Love speak.

This Too Shall Pass - Another lovely forward..very applicable right now:)

2007-04-16T04:32:00.000-07:00

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be

If I can remain calm and quiet
With all the world crashing about me,
Secure in the knowledge God loves me
When everyone else seems to doubt me

If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too

Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all of the chains

That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear
For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.

***Winning n losing - WHAT's the deal huh?

2007-04-02T05:49:00.001-07:00

It's really sad that the Indian team loses and the whole country which was
praising them to the stars suddenly turns their back on the team. Money, greed,
power, murders - what's wrong with everyone? There have been comments from our
very own 'Indians' who seem to think they play better than the opposition. If
this is true, why not join the team, take up the committment and break all
records? All so when you have an entire nation breathing down your back,
cheering you on only for the 'status' factor. So tomorrow if you lose, they are
just as ready to shoot you down.

It's even worse when educated people do this. I'm talking about US. Why
publicly shame them like you are better? Honestly, if you can take up the
challenge you wouldnt be sitting comfortably at home bad mouthing these people
when they lose. Cmon guys, get a life - you ARE educated after all. Dont pass
lousy comments and be judgemental or make fun and come across as being people
who are sadly 'PATHETIC'..

It's equivalent to an Indian contestant losing in a world beauty pageant, at
the end of the day she lost right? NOT you. And she did her BEST. Sure, she dint
win. India dint win. But there will be more contests to come and more chances.
Put things in perspective and stop acting like this is your last year on
earth..cmon we are wiser than that? Besides the humiliation of losing is hard
enuf on these folks, without having us adding to it. Put yourselves in THEIR
shoes and then react..

Unless you seriously think you would play better at 20/30+ and if that's the
case - HOPE to see you in the team few years from now...

My Celebrity Look Alikes:D

2007-02-02T23:14:00.000-08:00

Tried another one just to see the results!

Mystical Creatures: Which one are you?

2007-02-02T22:53:00.000-08:00

Am I really an angel? Or a ***** in disguise? [sweet innocent smile]Haha..go on guys..take the quiz and see what you get! Then we can decide if it's the truth or not!

You're an ANGEL! AAAAWWWWWWWWW!You're so pure! You're nice and happy. Everyone loves you, because you're such a sweety! You probably live in a bubble where everything is nice and happy, or you're in denial of all the bad things in the world and like to have an extremely optmistic point of view. Optimism is a good thing though, it helps get people through their problems. You are a great listener and like to protect people from the bad things. Probably off doing community service and saving the world. You are an all around nice person! It's ok to get angry at people sometimes, its healthy! You don't have to be perfect all the time! Go crazy and act wild!

***Making it work..

2007-01-31T04:10:00.000-08:00

When I was in my teens, a relationship to me was all about a good looking guy who was intelligent, talented, popular and sensitive. In my early twenties, though looks was still important (he had to atleast have a pleasant face)the popularity was an added bonus and the rest still stuck.
Now in my mid-twenties, it’s all about someone who is spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically and socially compatible in that order. Mentally as in, our wavelengths should match, we should be able to have intelligent or funny conversations depending on the context. By emotionally, I mean someone who respects my feelings- I’m not saying ‘feel’ like I do about things, so whether he is an introvert/extrovert, doesn’t matter as long as he knows how to respect and not belittle the way I feel. Spiritually would mean someone who believes in being a good human first and foremost, no fanatic or atheist. Socially we should be comfortable with how we behave with each other and others in the group. And physically, looks dont matter nemore, tho some amount of chemistry is essential..
The same goes for everyone, we each define what we know is best for us at each level.
My idea will be different from yours, its important to know what’s good for you though.

While that differs, essentially, the stages of a relationship remain for the most part same…
Initally you’re attracted to someone. You casually try to get to know each other, speak about general stuff, not get too personal and enjoy the other’s company. Then you might feel that you’re not too sure this is the ‘right’ person even if they match all your criteria – that’s normal. If you think this might go somewhere you decide to commit or you might move on to date others. At this point, the guy generally does most of the planning, complimenting, winning over the girl. At this stage, you get more intimate where you see the good and bad side of each other. You both start doing stuff for each other. You both plan dates. And lastly – if all goes well - you get engaged.
It’s in the ‘intimate stage’ many couples can make their relationship very strong or end up doing stuff that will eventually lead them to break off. Because at this stage you’re most vulnerable. The more intimate you get the more a guy/girl will behave in a manner that will cause the partner to freak out if they don’t understand these phases. The guy will periodically want space cause he is too stressed or has some relationship problem or he just wants to feel free after too much togetherness. It’s a healthy attitude basically seen in men, though few women exhibit it too, where too much intimacy robs you of your freedom and you want some space to feel in control again. However once you get that space you tend to return back to your partner once more wanting that togetherness. It will help girls if you let them have their space. And do your own stuff. Meet your friends. Have your own life. And trust he will solve his issues himself unless he asks you for help. If he does talk to you finally about it, be casual. Don’t get overwhelmed or worried.
Girls normally go through happy and sad phases. At times they will be very positive and other times they tend to feel low about everything for no particular reason. At these times, they just rant and rave and complain about everything and everyone. At this stage it would help guys if you just listened to her without advising her or telling her how to overcome her problems and dont take it personally. She knows how to solve it. A girl talks aloud about her problems likewise a man talks about his problems in his head. So listen to her, support her. Just validate her feelings. If she says,” I’m having a bad day”, ask her what happened and be supportive by emphasizing. At no point will it help making her feel bad for feeling the way she does. Slowly before you know it, she’ll feel better and be ready to share her positive feelings with you again.
For anyone in this stage it helps to know your differences are not wrong but healthy responses and knowing how to deal with them is the better option instead of trying to change your partner.
Know that whatever you do or don’t , affects the one you love. Make sure you respect their feelings even if you think it’s stupid or doesn’t match yours. I am not saying give in if its wrong or could cause you or them harm, nor am I saying be a doormat, just respect them, and see what you can do that will make you ‘both’ happy finally. Everything has a common ground, only if you care enough to find it and are willing to see both sides of the story. If you really want your relation to work, that’s the least and yet the best thing you can do for it.

Regards,
C

***Making peace…with who we are and who we choose to be with..

2007-01-31T03:34:00.000-08:00

Nowadays I realize a lot of relationships break because we don’t know who exactly we are and whom do we really want. Or if we know then we don’t really understand the one we are with. Or if we do understand the other person we don’t respect the way they think/feel because it’s so different from our way of thinking.
From my experiences with friends and couples true stories of what works and what doesn’t, I’m listing a couple of factors that helps in finding the right person AND keeping them.
1) Know yourself – If you don’t know who you are or what you believe in, chances are the person you find will not be who you want eventually.
2) Know what you want – Make a ‘realistic’ list of the must-haves and must-not have in your partner. And when attraction takes over your better senses, review your list. Also make sure you revisit it every month and change it if needed. It’s tempting to discard a list when loves hits hard so do it only if you’re willing to work through the many problems you might have to face later on.
3) Be yourself. Whether its love at first sight or infatuation or whatever. Just be yourself. If you don’t like doing something even though in the beginning you might want to unless you promise yourself you will continue doing that as long as you’re in this relationship. Many times to impress the other person or because we feel like it, we give in to being someone we aren’t. There is nothing wrong in this. Infact it’s great to be in this phase. But you know what happens next. At some point, you get so comfortable, you stop doing what you did in the beginning. You stop planning dates, calling her/him too often, complimenting her/him. And then the person gets insecure, can’t understand why the good stuff stopped. And then suddenly your partner wants to have a ‘relationship’ talk with you, find out what’s going wrong! Bham. Recognize this pattern? And you wonder where that happy, sweet person you loved disappeared or why she/he changed into this worried, sorrowful person and you decide to step back and get some space. And that scares your partner even more. And they get all needy and insecure and you decide it’s too much to handle and call it the quits! And then you tell everyone, she/he was too much to handle?!?
So yes, if love hits hard, and you want to do stuff you normally don’t like doing or know you wouldn’t do later, please do them a big favor and TELL HER/HIM that at the start. Tell them you hate or dislike doing certain things, whatever that might be though now because you’re so into her/him, you might behave differently. Let them know upfront what they are dealing with, Later when you want to be yourself, you both will know that’s just you being you finally.
4) This brings us back to the first point. Continue being who you are. Meet your friends, spend time with family, make time for your interests. Don’t depend on your partner for your happiness. You alone are responsible for that. And at all times be honest to yourself, who you are. If you have to change, let it be for the better.
I’ll be continuing this in my next blog. When I get some spare time. Wishing you all the best in love…

Have a good week.

*****Whew...whats goin on!!?!!

2007-01-08T07:08:00.000-08:00

Its the new year finally, 2007 seems to have taken a totally unpredictable start. I planned on moving out into a new flat(with close old friends from homeland) by 1st...dint happen..managed to get someplace for one of them tho..yet still 'stuck' at my old place..and i do want to get out badly!!
Got some work deadlines that dont seem to be working out..thought i could handle it, heck no, really feel my brain's all fried up now..
Got an additional task of gettin a place for my sis, she wants to relocate here ( i want her too as well) plus get her a job somewhere good...
Guess that about sums up my bad luck..not been keepin too well offlate too..(read too negative/confused...etc etc)
Some relationships in my life are going all haywire too...(just read this blog and you'll know how muddled i am right now)
Where did the happy-jolly-ever smiling face go eh?
I want to go home..actually i want to go home but not stay with my folks..i need my freedom..yet i need to be someplace i can call home!!
On a brighter note, I went out with my best friend and another friend yest and was havin an awful migraine..and she leaned over and pressed my forehead...something my mom would do when i was ill..and it felt so good! I was real touched...its been almost 2 years i have had such treatment...later met another old friend who asked me to come over or meet more often...
Watched happy feet too, the lil penguin was so cute, my heart went out to him...i actually could relate to him...i feel like an outsider in my current lodgin too..no wonder..got a lil teary durin few scenes...sniff..
Gosh why am i living so far away from those who matter??I would love to blame my workplace..but then looking out for a place is no easy job..especially if its just you and another 1-2 pals who dont really know the place too well yet..

Bad case of homesickness + frustration + boredom!!

Translation: I could do with a big hug right now...:(

*****In your arms..

2006-12-24T00:25:00.001-08:00

In your arms...

Am talking about everythin likes its so normal
Then why do i feel so out of place..
Its like whats happening sometimes isnt the real thing
Thats the mirror baby, but is that my face

Why am i so confused, whats going on...
This feeling so unreal is driving me insane
will somebody tell me..coz i cant take it nemore,
All i am sure about myself is my name

Can i curl up in your arms and sleep awhile,
I need you most when Im feeling this low,
Lets not wait to do it another time,
this is the only place i feel safest you know..

I say everything is ok with a smile
Then why does it feel like im telling a big lie
If this is what i know im here for
Why is saying it eating me up inside..

I just talk to friends, i call up home,
Just another way of trying not to feel so lone,
I wait for the sun as it rises each morn,
Before i know it, another day has gone.

Can i curl up in your arms and sleep awhile,
I need you most when Im feeling this low,
Lets not wait to do it another time,
this is the only place i feel safest you know..

*****She...

2006-12-24T00:25:00.000-08:00

She...

Another day passes me by,
And i go walking down another strange lane,
Nothing is familiar anymore,
Somehow nobody seems the same..

I turn back, what went by,
I see a child playing in the sun,
She gives me a smile, eyes so bright,
She is still a kid having fun..

I wasnt wrong ,she's better than some,
A little shy maybe, yet she is never glum,
kind to the core, always there for all,
I look and i pray that doesnt cause her fall..

She is grown up now, a strong woman at last,
Yet as i wait i see her tears fall fast,
from those eyes that i know were so bright,
I look again and wonder when they lost their light..

Somewhere along that lane she says,
when I walked far away from home,
it wasnt a choice i had you know,
But that left me walking all alone..

And i turn and look ahead of me,
More unfamiliar lanes i see,
I walk alone, head bent low,
i find a tear, the only friend i know..

*****God hears...jus wrote this is my spare time..

2006-11-30T21:06:00.000-08:00

GOD HEARS

When I'm down or lonely,Somebody calls out of the blue,
Saying they miss me...And I know GOD HEARS...

When I'm waiting for just one call that doesnt come,
I get 3 that i dont expect..And I know GOD HEARS..

When I'm having a bad day and the one I want by my side cant be present,
Some friend drops by without notice, And I know GOD HEARS...

When I have a tough time at work and I feel i cant go on anymore,
Someone appreciates my efforts And I know GOD HEARS..

Sometimes I feel like complaining and crying coz nothing is going right,
And i get a mail with a message of hope..And I know GOD HEARS...

"Even when we feel we can love no more, do no more, take it no more,
Coz it all seems too much to bear...Every new morning sun that rises..
Tells us...that GOD HEARS..."

*****The guy whole stole my mind..n my heart..

2006-11-01T22:32:00.000-08:00

Ok he is canadian by birth, abso cute with a deep throated voice and a naughty glint in his eyes. And he sings like a dream and has captured my heart and he calls me his best friend..
I met him for less than a week in bombay and it happened then...sigh, he really IS "the most adorable" guy i have ever met..we got so close that we dined together..slept together..now dont get ne ideas..it was a lil uncomfy at first, am not used to sleeping with neone next to me you know..yet i dint mind him..
Well..the first time i saw him..i wasnt exactly taken up..i mean he was your average guy you know..fooling around..and i got to know his sister better. That's when probaly out of boredom he decided to stick around with us and then the fondness grew..
His gentleness and generous spirit was enough to make me notice him a little more. And then we became inseparable..sure 1 week is too less..yet parting was painful for both.
I had his song on my cellphone..the one by Avril, I'm with you..and i heard it at a friends and actually felt so bad coz i was missin him so much..
I still have his cards for me..yes he draws too..a very pretty card..saying I love you Liza..thats my nick..and i was like Aww..so sweet..
Yeah..its been sometime now..i wonder when i'll see him next..yet i'm glad we met..
And Enrique, i love you too..my cute 4 yr old cousin who moved my heart in ways i cannot explain..at that time of my life when i had forgotten what giving was...you showed me..that and more..you showed me how to care..what it was to be loved..and the greatest gift..how to love..

"sniff" :P

And we live happily ever after...20 years and 7862 miles separating us...:D

(i had to go and spoil the endin now..bad aint i?)

*****Ok Ok..so i have been tagged!!! Gotta write 9 weird things about me...ummm

2006-11-01T21:24:00.000-08:00

9 weird things about me? C'mon Karen(she tagged me), you know i got more than 9 weird things about me now n i cannot mention it all here!! Ok, ok i'm a saint really..she's forcing me to sound weird..so for her i will try...put the sanest weirdest facts about moi online!
9)I have grown my nails just thrice in my life..this year being the 3rd time..at other times that's where i get my dose of iron from..:P
8)I sing everywhere and anytime and noone gets to know, yeah i have been singing during work, in the restroom, in my balcony...at a doctors..(maybe i'm too soft..but i sing nevertheless)
7)I give a nick (nice ones) to all my close friends which are mostly animal names..yeah i can actually see some resemblance..they range from bunny, panda, baby cub...etc..
6)If i want to do somethin real bad, i just do it, was homesick and went home directly from college with just a sack of books and some cash for the journey...whew, dont think i'd try that stunt again..considering it was a 12 hours journey and it was the second time i was travellin that far with no extra money, no cell and was goin to surprise my folks about it!
5)I haven't paid any autowalla an extra fare, i have either fought or cursed or plain walked the way to my destination, but heck no...tho i know it can turn nasty i somehow cant give in..
4)I was on a diet once and walked to college which was an hour and half away...needless to say i dint continue for long..but did it all the same:D
3)I can laugh netime, newhr...i remember singing for christmas mass and laughed into the mike..god i had to put it off so i wouldnt be heard...but yeah i find nethin funny n i can't control laughin then...
2)I have a very vivid imagination..now dont ask me what i imagine coz im not telling..but i can associate anything with everythin..bad case of lateral thinkin, sometimes its good..sometimes not so good:D
1) I tend to think backwards..noticed the numbering? haha..gotcha..just wanted to fill this with somethin so did that...you thot i'd tell you everythin now huh?

Whew..should i subject some poor unsuspecting soul to this torture? Nah..not yet..maybe some other time...

Karen..hope i did justice to the 9 things...now wait your turn girl...i'll have something very nice for you...(evil grin) LOL...chill..later:)

*****On identities..whats yours anyways?

2006-09-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

Been almost a month, I've peeped in here. Dont know what I'm about to write, nevertheless have something in mind that i've been thinkin about for a long time now..4 years to be precise..good enuf to comment now..any guesses what im talkin about here?

Ok, ok..will cut the games short, Been brought up in Goa(cant say born, coz that happened abroad:D) yet having lived most of my life(read 17 years) with people of a particular wavelength, its no surprise that on moving outside Goa, i suddenly felt very out of place. Its no wonder too, that i've been trying to fit in(I have tried) and yet never felt at home.

I dont want to be judgemental here, yet i notice alot of people get so stuck in their 'region' mindset, that it's really painful to even talk to them. I find such people commenting on so called 'outsiders', be it their dress sense, language they speak or attitude. The verdict being that outsiders should and must behave like the locals..be like the romans when in rome..sounds simple right? Yet these very critics cannot and will not make required changes when in office. In office, it doesnt matter which state your from as long as you speak the 'common' language. Note: I did not say mother tongue, that's called mother tongue, so you use it at home. In office you have to follow the norms of the place. Yet the same people who want the others to change, will not adapt to office etiquettes and majority of the time they center all their conversations around their mother tongue..

My point being, if you cant adapt, why do you want the rest to? If you want to cling to your culture 24-7, how can you expect someone else not to?

Simply put, I cant stand hypocrites...and yet I find alot of them nowadays..its true that im no saint and i tend to make more enemies than friends coz i say it as it is..being a 'nice, sweet talker' was never and will never be my strong point, and if someone's gonna turn bitter with the truth, then cmon its time to grow up... The world isnt going to sing your praises all day long and if it does, then you'v got to be aware of whats going on.

True friends always let you have it on your face, thats what I believe in atleast, the rest make a big show of being oh-so-sweet and you never know whats going on behind your back..

Well, this was a topic very close to my heart and the passion will be evident..

It's time to get back to what I was doing before all the commotion started;)

And guys, the world isnt all that bad..or atleast as we/i/you make it seem...chill n get on with life..

*****Flashback..

2006-07-23T22:41:00.000-07:00

I'm 10 years, just joined the 7th std. Shy, nervous and a geek is how my friends described me then. And its time for electing the monitor. I sit quietly, wondering who the unfortunate person would be and i hear my name called out. Did my Ma'am really appoint me a monitor? Everyone claps, yes its me, all eyes are looking at me now. And i wish i could dig a hole and disappear. Its a convent- only girls school, yet the month that followed was a terror. Thankfully i had a very vivacious friend who wanted to 'mind' the class and i appointed her my assistant, so she stood infront and yelled, and i sat in my place writing names on a sheet of paper...

Years later, 10th std. I am more confident now, no more shy, yet responsibilities are what i shun away from. Because its my board year, i talk to my teachers, telling them i cant monitor again. I don't think i was convincing enough and they re-voted me again. Fortunately the one with authority was on my side and listening to my tale of woe, understood where i was coming from and gave me the liberty of being a free person:D

1st year, St.Xavier's. I wondered what was the hype about this place. A dull gray building atop a never ending hill, endless boring lectures and no friends and a one hr plus journey. I cringed at the thought of starting all over after making an identity for myself in school. Yet it had to be done, the first half passed uneventfully, with bunking becoming my second name. Me, bunking! Couldn't believe it, yet sometimes you resort to desperate measures in desperate times.

3rd year, St Xavier's. Its plus points week. 3 days of intense competition where friends from different batches turn rivals and those you hardly know become your best buds. I'm participating in 8 events which included a painting competition, collage, group singing, choir, channel X, tug of war, crossword and 'i don't r'ber the last one'. Out of which we bagged 5 first places, 2 second places and 1 third place. Overall we won first place for class of the year. And then socials, the much awaited dance of the year. And the practices in the lab, music sessions, picnics and fun in class. I still have a record for not bunking any lecture in the final year- it was that much fun. our professors dint have much hopes about our future with all the creative pastimes we possessed and yet we surprised them with 15 distinctions in a class of 17. It was a surprise when i stood second in my class. Truly 'happiness' is that year in Xaviers, the friends i made and most importantly the fun we had at the most crucial and deciding year of our life. I'm honored to have known that class of 2002. Still brag about them. Amazing, talented and full of life.

1st Year, Masters, Pune. Shifted to a new place. Everyone seems to speak a language i don't identify with. Feeling really out of place and lost. Especially lecture time, when the profs suddenly get into their local language, its hard enuf to follow normal conversation. I think to myself, there should be a rule for etiquette in public places, in your house, you be what you are, outside see that social differences are not highlighted. Living in a hostel for 2+ years teaches you about people, about life. You know the world isn't the safe heaven you thought it was and your perspective changes.

2005 onwards, Am a professional now. Have learned from everyday events. I know today who to trust and i'm not naive anymore. I find myself calling home to see that everyone is alright, a new responsibility?!? I stop complaining to my folks, i listen to them talk about their day and i tell them everything is great out here even if its far from it. I find history reversing as i take on the role of the care taker, ensuring i can give my family 'something' to try make up for all they gave me.

About people, I know inside every person is a gem waiting to shine, yet so many let themselves rust away and take on a superficial persona. I watch, like an observer now, everyone around me. And i know life isn't often what it seems to be, when you least expect it it will surprise you, you should be prepared. You should be willing to be flexible and learn yet firm when your values are concerned. Because no matter what you get or who you become if you loose your morals, you are nothing.

So here i am, typing away, a solitary SW professional, hardened at times by the harsh realiaties of life, yet melt away when i see genuineness once again.

And I watch..and learn..and life goes on..

Have you ever felt this way? I have...(~By John Harricharan.)

2006-06-28T00:43:00.000-07:00

Whenever I feel the world is closing in on me, I go to a quiet place that lies somewhere in my soul. I do not reason, analyze or think... Those will come later...
I simply go.. And as a frightened child finds comfort and strength in a loving parent, I find my God there. From this place of power, I gather strength to stand firm in the face of fire, to be calm in the midst of thunder...
When I emerge from this sanctuary, the world has not changed, but I have. And in my changing, a whole new world is born.
~By John Harricharan.

Another good read..got it as a forward and must say it makes a terrific read:)

2006-06-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way. They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you. And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you. It's inevitable.Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person, you're headed for deeper problems. In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get. You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away. And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you spend more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it. Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick.

So what should you do the next time someone betrays you? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person wronged you, you are still responsible for your own feelings. In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings. You choose them. For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were "stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.

As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you believe other people caused your feelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim. But if you recognize the fact that you choose your feelings and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope. You can take some time to think about our feelings. And you can decide what is the best thing to say or do. Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT.

It's difficult to do, but it's possible. The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that. After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years, Carlyle completed the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it. Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him that his work had been destroyed. Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill. These things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go, my friend! Do not feel bad."
As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window. Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want him to see how crushed I am by this misfortune." And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is gone, so I had better start writing again." Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics of all time. He had learned to walk away from his disappointment. After all, what could Carlyle have done about his burnt manuscript? Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript. All Carlyle could do was to get bitter or get started.

And what can you do about anything once it is over? Not much. You can try to correct it if it is possible, or you can walk away from it if it isn't. Those are your only two choices.

Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up (pun intended!!??? may be). It's like the farmer who had an old mule who fell into a deep dry well. As he assessed the situation, he knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deep well. So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well. After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, so he could solve two problems at once. He could put the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled. The farmer asked his neighbors to help him with the shoveling. To work they went. As they threw shovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on the mule's back, the mule became frightened. Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Each time they would throw a shovel-full of dirt on his back, he would shake it off and step up. Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shake it off and step up. In not too long a time, the exhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of the well and through the crowd. That's the same approach we all need to take. We need to shake it off and step up.

Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the wrong. Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behavior is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook. He's still responsible for his misbehavior. Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook. It's about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future.

Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you. If you know how to respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people. You'll be able to live above and beyond your circumstances.

Action: Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, or angered you. If possible, select two people towards whom you still have some bitterness. Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me? Am I happier holding on to it? Do I sleep better? Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?" if you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision. Actually decide to let it go.

Walk away from the disappointment - which means you no longer dwell on it or talk about it. Shake off and Step Up

I did not write this, but its so like me that i thought i'd post it here..:)

2006-06-14T06:01:00.000-07:00

Its 7 : 30 a.m. and I stand here in the bus stop waiting for the office bus to arrive. I stand here in the same manner as I did a few years back waiting for my college bus. Little did I know then that things would change so much in 2 years; the sky under which I am standing seems to be looking at me and smiling .. It is perhaps the only thing that has acted as a witness .. watching the transformation of a loud and bubbly person into a quiet professional.

I wouldn't blame the professionalism for the change though. It is destiny, or may be you could call it life. Yes Life, esoteric in the true sense, for one does not understand why you meet hundreds of people everyday, work with so many, and still remain lonely.

I am now in one of the corner seats in the bus, looking out of the window watching people trying to catch up with "life" .. It's an hour's journey and the only company that I generally have is the chatter of the RJ. I seldom notice the person sitting next to me, for its going to be yet another stranger or may be you could say another acquaintance. It is annoying at times when the radio is switched off, not because I am cut off from the melody but because I would now be thrust with thoughts of the solitary journey ahead.

I can't help thinking about the short bus journeys to college ... well it's a paradox to call a distance of 30 KMs "short", but that is how it always seemed. A typical college day always begins in the bus with all the familiar faces; you look forward for all your friends to get in from the various stops, the reasonless giggles, the loud laughter that were stifled to avert the eyes of the lecturers and professors who would watch on us as if we were their prospective prey for the day ... well as I said it was a different life then. The pleasant memories of college are in itself good enough to save me from the misery of the bus journey.

I notice that it is time for me to get down and flash my smile of acknowledgement to all the known strangers that I see as I approach my cubicle. A few of my colleagues greet me with their morning wishes and as always, we exchange our pleasantries. Discussions jump to the weekend plans and I wonder what I'd do over the weekend.

It would be just another day staring at the mobile, wishing it would ring and bring back some wonderful moments that are now missing in life or maybe the safer option would be to come to office, for it's my new founded asylum these days. A few years back, weekends or weekdays didn't matter to me, I was always busy. I always stood doubting the authenticity of the wall clock that seemed to be in running too fast to perceive its movement. Alas, now it seems as though my clock is suffering from some kind of paralytic attack.

There is a time in life, where one needs to go ahead, leaving behind your friends and carrying along only memories. You do make new friends, but then you never get the old close ones ... you do meet people who'd be so good to you that you could tell them anything and everything, but you do not find a person to whom you needn't say things ... friends who just know you. Occasional calls from such friends, have been the only thing that I seem to look forward to ....However,I cant help but notice the uneasy pause that lingers around the conversation ..A pause not because of the relationship, but because it is too short a duration to say everything, and of course you cannot completely rule out the paucity of words!

As I sip coffee from the ubiquitous coffee mug, watching the drops of rain, trickling down the tinted glass panes, veiling the scenic beauty outside, I tell myself, may be there will be a day when things will change, when life will offer a rewind, a recap of all the events and I just have to wait.

Capricious are the ways of life, for I know there would be many who'd be able to empathize with me, ironically, even the dear ones that I miss this moment, waiting perhaps...!!

And I keep on waiting......

*****Here it comes, the last week:D

2006-05-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

Hmm, what do you write about a week huh? I dont know about you all out there but mine has been a 'mixed' 'rushed' week. For one, I've finally felt what its like to be the earning one in the family and provider maybe? (in a way) And another actually know what the responsibilities about being an adult really measures up to(again in a small way)

To elaborate, I get confirmed tomorrow, yes one year at work finally paying off:) Slogged ma **** for it, so it better be good. And paid off my educational loan with my savings (lil sad to see your paycheck just disappear) but it was well worth it. And yes, im not a multi billionaire so i had to take the loan, got a master's degree now, so aint complainin'.

Reading up alot on investments too. Hope to find something i 'understand' and thats profitable:D Guess, that about sums up the 'adult feeling' bit. Got my gym membership back at work so i can play badminton (baddie) whilst its pouring outside. Something to keep fit plus i enjoy it, convinced another friend to play partner so come June, its baddie time for us!

Had a movie party for colleagues with another pal, and watched Fanaa. A good movie again, because i always seem to put myself in the main characters roles and take it from there. And so yes, a nice movie. Made me realise that i actually can relate to having a family someday and feeling as 'strongly' as they did about each other. take it from me, its a rather nice feeling to have.

If everything i've written sounds as gray as the weather outside now, dont blame me. This is what comes to the palette when your head is throbbing and its raining outside and you'd like to take a rain check and just go home, get into the covers and go back to sleep...

'Yawn', did i just write all that now? ;)

*****May..so far:)

2006-05-23T21:02:00.000-07:00

Well thought i'd just summarize this month, so in a way it beats keepin a diary with itty bitty details:D Though its fun to go back sometimes and read it all and then think, omigosh, did i really write all that?!? LOL.

The month started off just fine, (barring the fact i was real moody MOST of the time), but its been an eventful month so far atleast. Watched a couple of movies, (wait, reviews coming up next) and attended few parties by office colleagues & roommates and had a few heated discussions about sensitive topis..

Comin back to the movies, Went for 'Underworld evolution'. I would give it 7/10 for the effects and 9/10 for the acting. So average 8/10. Minus 2 coz i got a lil scared inbetween;) Overall a good movie to watch 'atleast once'. The other was Cheaper by dozen, this i would say deserved an 8.5/10. 7/10 for the whole story and 10/10 for the company. Yeah, good company does make a BIG difference..

Had dinners at 'Up and above' and 'Sarja'. Those were 'chill' out ones, just relaxing a bit after a hectic day at work and eating more than talking..ok..a bit of both. I'm never quiet at the table..And yes, i recorded a song i sang, kinda karaoke style and got very good to very bad reviews. Most were average, barring one bad one(as i see it) and the best was from this friend who said 'lovely song', till i asked for feedback and she refused to believe i sang it. Counts to have friends like this for encouragement, i guess...

Had a discussion over the 'Da vinci code'. Got opinions from friends that varied from 'Have it, why be afraid and its just fiction, why make a big deal and attract attention' to 'While we have freedom of expression, if it hurts people's religious sentiments, dont have it'. I actually agree to the latter opinion coz i believe in peace for all. Same with the reservations for scheduled caste which has led to hunger strikes and rallies. Not much difference between the 2 issues as i see it.

Both are speaking from deep seated feelings that have been hurt and they want a decision taken that will bring peace of mind to all. About the Da vinci code, if its banned, some people can live in peace once more, if its not there is nothing positive that will be gained. Money wont suffer as already enough and more has been made on the film. Similarly if there are no reservations, again peace will reign, if not, the scheduled castes wont suffer coz i know most OBC's who are well off than me!! Its different if reservations are made for disabled or financially incapable people. Anyways this is a topic not for discussion out here, there has been enough publicity already made with regards to both and i rather leave it there.

That about sums up the month..still a week to go I know. 2 close friends were on vacation for their cousins wedding and i realised that i actually missed them quite a bit. Anyways one is back already and another one should be back this friday so am waiting.

It's time to start work now, get back to my normal routine, amidst the chaos and confusion all around. Thanks for reading, this was a tad longer than expected, nevertheless somethings in life are best brought to the surface..nothing makes sense left beneath for long:)

Ta da..bask in the sun..coz you never know when its goin to rain...

*****On Nick..truly an inspiration..

2006-05-11T22:47:00.000-07:00

Today was just like any other day. Woke up wondering how work would turn out as next week is going to be tough. At the same time comtemplating on the many decisions ive taken in my life that has brought me where i am today. As im not living with my family, am working out of home and stay with 5 others girls, sometimes i wonder if its not best to just go back home and get a 'real' life with my folks around.

You know come home to people who care about you and all that. Especially on the weekends when it gets real lonely and everyones off to their hometown. Offlate ive just been grouchy, hardly praying (yeah, i used to pray quite a bit when in college) and complainin about everything i think is going wrong in my life. Sucks huh?

Till I got this mail about a true life story from a friend early today morning. About this guy Nick. Something about his story moved me like it did to many others which is why im sharing it with you. I'd like you to hear it in his own words so catch it all here http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/minister.htm

In short, Nick is a guy without limbs who chooses to testify about God and praises him in a situation none of us i think would be able to smile about leave alone talk about. It made me realise that in my own journey ive forgotten what really matters, the gift of love, that God himself has for all of us. And besides that, nothing else matters. We have grown up so much that we hide all our weaknesses, our needs behind a wall of confidence and maturity. But have we really grown if we cant accept our shortcomings, talk about it and live with it?

So read his story and i can assure you its not going to be a waste of your time..at the least it will give you something 'real' to think about..

Happy reading..n have a great weekend.

*****Random thoughts..

2006-05-10T01:58:00.000-07:00

Another lazy day.. I'm creating a new site and was just thinking of what to put in. Work has been good so far, so i wont comment further on that. I'm in the process of reading " 5 point someone", written by Chetan Bhagat. The same author of "One day in a call centre"...or was it one night? Okay whatever :D

The latter book was pretty rad, a good read, somehow this one though hasnt wetted my appetite. Its a good way to pass your time( read, when you have nothing better to do) but might actually interest the 'male' population out there coz its so full of language they identify with. You read it if you want to know what im talking about, dont want to get into that here and now ;)

Am just thinking out loud, or putting my thoughts into words so to say, have to pick my drivers license (yes, i can officially drive now..thats a warning so get insured) and do a coupla other tasks, small but (boring)!!

Before i go on and on and rant some more, I'll go finish what i have to, you can stop readin further now...coz im zoning out..

Till the next time, keep the faith..and keep goin'..

*****Zathura

2006-05-03T21:20:00.001-07:00

Watched Zathura twice last week. The story was amazing, something right out of a sci-fi or comic book. The whole multimedia aspect of the movie is mind blowing and the acting of the main characters superb. I cant think of a better word right now to describe the whole experience of what it must have felt like to actually be in such a situation had it been real.

Just imagine your playing this game and suddenly you find yourself in outer space. And you have to actually play the whole game to reach back home. On route you encounter alien beings trying to destroy you, a robot who's not on your side either and an astronaut comes along (WHEW) to help out. I actually put myself in the shoes of a 10 year old while watching the movie a second time and i must say i-was-floored!!

Definetely worth watching if like me, you share a fascination for mystery and the unknown. Simply put, this is one movie i'll be praising for a long long time, to me it was really "Out of this world"..

*****Chains to link or bind? You decide..

2006-03-19T20:40:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been thinking of what to write coz there is so much on my mind, yet i cant seem to choose just one of them. Looks like it'll be on friendships today. What it really means to me..my perspective on this most important relation in the world.

I used to be the 'friendly' type who would go out of my way to help a friend in need. I would send them cards to show i care, call to just talk and was the reason most groups kept in touch. The common link in the chain you could say. And this was a year or 2 ago. Today, something has changed, not within but how i express myself. I no longer send cards, call for no reason or am always around.

Sounds selfish right? In a way thats how it looks and I dont clarify anymore. Something tells me true friends can see below the surface and really know what you are all about. They dont need superficial stuff to hang on to. Today i believe in being there differently. I give friends enough space so that they dont get too dependant. Have seen that happen too often. Being too nice robs people of seeing their own strenghts to grow and soon many expectations come in and with it misunderstandings and disappointments.

I believe in hearing whats left unsaid. Being there when i know that a friend truly needs someone to pull them up, when they've tried their best and cant do it alone. Im there when everyone's talkin behind their back, not to defend them but stick up for what i know is the truth about them.

The saddest thing today is saying someone is a friend and being a hypocrite when things go wrong. Isnt it better to sort out problems with the one concerned? Afterall only you 2 know whats really wrong, what good comes of involving another person. I dont think we need advice from anyone else to take decisions which concern us and another person, do we? Or are we so immature in our relationships? If your talking to someone to gain a better perspective or try to mend things, thats still ok, not taletelling out of spite. Which i see happening almost everywhere.

Which is why i no longer go out of my way, i know the real ones dont need anything extra..they already know your worth..

Friends come and go, the true ones come to stay..

*****On movies...

2006-03-07T05:20:00.000-08:00

Watched 'Pride and Predujice' and 'Crash' on the weekend. While one was really slow the other was rather heavy. If you're the type who likes old classics then the first one is for you, if a fast moving drama-action-soap is what you'd prefer, then i say opt for the second one. Again at your own discretion..if you'd rather watch something fun, chilled out..which i like doing after a hectic week..try the likes of Shrek or something similar..

In any case you can't go wrong that way..

Which reminds me..when posting forwards, do check if its authentic or no, alot of crap goes around and around. I remember getting the 'bill gates' mail last year and this year i got it thrice!! While this will ensure it stays in circulation even after maybe B.G is long gone, where's the dough eh? So do everyone a favour, send these only if you guys know its not a hoax...

Till the next time..Cheers..

*****Life beneath..

2006-02-26T21:58:00.000-08:00

Ever woken up one morning to find yourself wondering what you are doing here? If eventually all you work for is not going to last, then what are you working so much for? There are many questions i ask myself every year, this one being one i've battled with and finally, i think have arrived at a satisfying answer.

We spend so much time on things that are not important, truth being we dont even know what is really important. For some its things to do with personality, for some its things to do with character. Neither is wrong to hold such an opinion, yet what makes you really happy is where your priorities lie.

As we grow older, we find true joy comes from things of the heart. When you've learnt to put family above work, values above money and a spirit free from the wars within above independance. That's when you really know what it means to ask and receive, seek and find, knock and have the door open. As its rightly said, "They wont remember what you said, or what you did, but how you made them feel"..

Have a glorious week!

*****A peak into the depths...

2006-02-22T10:25:00.000-08:00

Finally, my first blog. Why did I choose the name 'mermaidparadiso'? Coz its 'me', have always been the type people would look at and say 'Still waters run deep', bloggin might perhaps be able to let me get somethings to the surface. Would anyone care to know what? I dont know, I dont really care, i guess.
Thats how it is with Mermaids anyways..they live in their own paradise beneath the ocean depths, are there but not really there, are they? Creatures of mystery, intrique, you never know whats up with them, yet they are there all around. Or are they? Still, when they do get out in the open, its something that captures your soul, like your living in another world..and you never know what they are thinking or why..
How long i'd keep bloggin I dont know, its better this way, come and go as one pleases, its not easy to stay beneath too long, tis is one mermaid who is still learning how to swim..